Beth

Chapter 3 - Revelations

"2015, Christmas. I met Jordan and Declan on a group chat, we became good friends. We had our ups and downs but we sorted ourselves out. Anthony was added to the group chat. I also became very good friends with him. After all him, Jordan and Declan went to the same school. So we all got very close and I made a group chat with just the three of us, where I tell them my problems and ask for help. It was a good life. I'm later added to this group chat for Steven Universe lovers, where I met Bennett. He shares the exact same love for Steven as me. We're both obsessed and start discussing why we aren't married yet. It was all innocent. He also seemed like a good friend but I didn't get close to him just then. Life went on."

"Anthony and I were crushing on each other but didn't do anything about it because at the time, I was in a relationship. But I did like him and I knew he liked me, we decided to stay friends. Eventually I became available. Anthony and I were flirting but you know when people keep playing around and doing things to piss each other off so they don't get together? That's what we kept doing. The next thing I'm hearing is that Brie liked Anthony when she knew perfectly well that I liked him. I was shocked and angry but I stayed calm because I felt like Anthony still liked me. He came over to my house and we talked about the whole thing."

I stop talking for a minute and walk over to where Anthony is sitting, I stand right in front of him and stare at him as I continue.

"I had never done anything sexual with a boy and that meant a lot to me. I wanted my first time to be with someone who truly cared about me and I thought that someone was Anthony. When he made the first move, I told him that I had never done this before and that he should take it slow. He proceeded to do so. When we were done, I told him how much it meant to me that he did this and that it makes me happy to have done this with someone who actually cares about me. We didn't have sex but we did everything apart from sex. I was happy. We gave every time he came over. I thought I was in love, like I'd finally found that magical person."

"Only for me to hear that he's still talking to Brie and he doesn't know why he asked me out. I was crushed, I cried so hard, I shut him out and he acted offended then broke up with me. I cried for hours straight, shouting and screaming, tried to kill myself but luckily I have good friends."

At that part Anthonys' eyes widen, he never knew I tried to kill myself.

"I was so broken. I felt so used, because not only did he abuse my love but he abused my body. I felt violated. I wanted to just enter a shell an disappear, it was a horrible period in my life. I'd go to bed crying, writing poems and screaming at myself. Mind you, I already had depression and insomnia from past experiences which Anthony knew all about."

"I started getting closer to Bennett and he started liking me but I was headstrong in my resolve not to date anyone anymore. Bennett was also in a relationship so us being together wasn't even a possibility. We got close and he broke up with his girlfriend by coincidence, at least that's what he told me. After that we got really flirty, saying I love you to each other when we cut the phone."

At this, I walk away from Anthony right to Bennett and kneel right in front of him, keeping my face blank.

"I knew at this point I needed to let my friends know. I told Aaliyah and Charmaine, they questioned him, made him go through lots of awkward conversations. Finally, they gave me the okay to open up to him. Bennett knows everything, my past experiences, my anxieties, my fears, my fetishes, my likes and dislikes, what makes me angry and the way I think. He knows every single detail, even more than Jordan. He knew I was broken and needed repair, he promised to fix me because he loves me, he promised to show me love and boy, did he."

"I was always on calls with him late at night. We talked so much, we let each other in. He told me so much about him and I did the same. We never really fought, if we did it's because we were being jealous or petty. I prayed about him, prayed for God to be with him and make him successful. I told my mum about him, we would talk about him for hours."

"I loved him with every singe bit of emotion I had in me. Then it was time to meet him. That day I almost passed out, I was so nervous, I was literally shaking. Aaliyah was with me to help me out. When he walked in through the gate, I almost fainted. He was just so perfect. So different. I didn't want to open the door for him because I was so nervous but I eventually did. The way he looked at me when I did, I finally felt beautiful for once in my life, like I actually meant something to someone. It was such an important moment for me."

"We kissed, we gave, and it was so beautiful. We met on different occasions, we were always strong. I would have done anything for him. I loved him too much."

"My phone got seized by my Dad, for three weeks. I didn't have contact with anyone but I kept contact with him. I would call him from my mum's phone. I didn't want to lose what was important to me.I remember once, crying in biology class about the fact that I was scared to lose him."

At this point I walk away from Bennett and stand by Jordan.

"Life went on. I got my phone back, I thought everything would go back to the way it was. However, he's distant, he won't tell me he loves me, he won't send me any heart emoji's and he started airing me. I knew something was wrong and I kept asking him, 'what's wrong?' He'd always say, 'I love you' and 'I'm sorry.' I kept holding on, kept trying to deceive myself that he still loved me."

"Jordan, Anthony, Bennett and a few others came over to my house and I had to confront Bennett. He sat right there and lied to me face. He lied directly to me without even caring. He had cheated on me with another girl and didn't tell me, my friends told me. I was so hurt. I cried and cried. I was hurting for weeks. We eventually ended and it was heartbreaking for me. On the day we ended actually, this is a fun fact that no one knows."

I stop and smirk, I walk over to Dan.

"Dan was in my house, he helped me send the ending text and when I was about to cry, he decided to cheer me up but sadly his flash disk wasn't working with my TV so we couldn't watch the movie he wanted us to watch. We headed up to me room because my brothers were back then Dan fell asleep on my bed."

"I kept pinching and bugging him when he instantaneously pinned me to the bed and started sucking on my neck, we gave."

Bennett's eyes widen, he never knew. He looks over at Dan, whose head is down. There's an unreadable tension in the room and it makes me so happy.

"Anyways after we gave, Dan let me in on an important part of his life that I never knew about and I was so happy that we were still friends. I thought nothing had changed. He went home and we continued talking. Abruptly, he got very distant. Not talking to me, airing me and I was confused. It started to worry me because Dan told me some really deep stuff and I thought that maybe he was going through something. But it turns out Dan was just being Dan and this was nothing but his normal behavior."

"I was feeling sad and guilty because I gave Dan. I was still hung up over Bennett. I called Chris to come and be a friend but that's clearly not what he had in mind. He kept touching me and asking for gives. I kept resisting and declining then he got angry. He called me pathetic for being so hung up over someone who's probably not even thinking about me right now. It hurt me, it fucking stung. So in my anger, I kissed back the next time he tried and we gave. Chris promised no one would know but Bennett asked me about it 3 weeks later so I knew he'd lied. I never spoke to him after that."

I walk to Ken.

"Now Ken, these four bastards sit, telling me they are "sorry" for singlehandedly ruining my trust for people romantically, destroying my care as a friend and making me the bitch I am now. They are also offended because I don't appreciate their efforts to say sorry and I apparently didn't respect them pouring out their hearts to me. What's your take on the matter Ken?" I finish not really expecting him to answer.

He's stunned, like he could faint any moment. Declan also looks rather shocked, he never really knew most of this, he just knew the basics. Damien is dead silent.

"So don't you all sit there acting perfectly innocent like you only committed small sins, when you all ruined my life emotionally, mentally, and physically."

With that I turn around and storm off to the room, slam the door behind me and lay on the bed. Steven Universe will be good right now, I can't breathe.

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author's note: Gives are everything sexual apart from sex, so handjobs, blowjobs, breast sucking, fingering. it's all classified under that.