R e h a b i l i t a t i o n

Chapter One: Done

My eyes are blurry like I'm looking through foggy glass.

The limo stops and I'm slightly jolted forward.

"We're here Ms.LaMonte," Asher, my driver yelled from the front of the limo.

The door opens and I am greeted by Parker the doorman.

"Good evening Ms.Preston" I can see the giant smile plastered across his face. If only I could be that happy.

"Good evening Parker" I managed to smile.

I don't know what Lucas gave me tonight but I've never experienced a high like this before.

This was the opposite of a high. This was a low.

Mixed with all the drinks I had maybe this wasn't the best decision.

I slowly walked into my building and made my way to the elevator.

The doors slowly opened and the bright lights scarred my eyes.

I pressed the button for the penthouse and waited for the doors to close.

I could see my reflection in the mirror covered walls.

An all too familiar feeling came over me.

Every night I would walk in this elevator and see what a mess I was. 

How lonely I truly was. 

Dark feelings would consume me.

I hated what I saw in the mirror. 

Tears rushed to my eyes.

Voices echoed in my head. "you are disgusting"   "die"   "pathetic"

I was all of the above.

A pain started in the middle of my head and moved outward until my head was throbbing.

"What did he give me!" I yelled holding my head in my hands

I wanted to die. 

The thought occurred to me. 

"Do it"   the voice echoed    "end it now"

I honestly didn't give it a second thought.

There were countless nights where I would stay awake until dawn and wonder what it would be like to jump, to cut, to hang.

It wasn't a new thought.

Some how tonight I found it easiest to convince myself I shouldn't be here.

The elevator doors opened and my heart raced.

I was ready.

The tears stopped flowing from my eyes and my vision became much clearer.

I stumbled into my room throwing my jacket and bag on the floor. 

I still had my four inch heels on.

"A lady never takes off her heels in public" I heard my mothers sweet sounding voice in my ear.

I could remember exactly when she gave me my first little pair. I was six and it was Christmas eve.

*flash back*

"Evangeline, sweetie we are going to Lucas' for dinner now, are you ready?" my mother walked into my room with a beautiful dark green dress on. The deep green complimented her beautiful green eyes.

Her blond hair was pulled into a styled up do and she had the most beautiful heels on.

"Mommy, I want to wear heels like you and Barbie" I pouted.

My mother copied my pout but still looked beautiful." Well I was waiting to give you this for tomorrow but you can wear it today if you want but sshhh don't tell daddy." She reached out and held my hand. 

I followed her into her bedroom and closet. In a little box was a red dress with gold detailing and gold little heels.

She helped me put them on and stood me in front of her full length mirror.

"Beautiful Evangeline" She hugged me so tightly I never wanted her to let go.

*End of Flashback* 

I made it to my bathroom and held onto the egdes of the sink.

My reflection just showed what a mess I was,make-up smudged all over my face and my hair all of the place.

I hated myself.

I had nothing here for me. My life was just making it through school and then going out and doing god knows what. 

I'm only 17 and I've had every high end drug, drank every expensive bottle of wine, slept with every rich and handsome boy I could find.

I had no siblings, no real friends, no parents.

What's the point.

Nothing but a drunk slut in this world.

I opened the cabinet under the mirror and found my little box.

Inside were jewellery letters and pictures.

Pictures of my mom and dad and me before my mom passed away and one of me and my dad four years ago before he died. 

I took the pictures out as gently as I could and placed them on the counter.

Then I went to the cabinet again and got out a box of razors.

I started the water in the tub and waited for it to fill.

Once the tub was filled almost to the top I stopped the water.

Grabbing the sides of the tub I gently let my self slide into the warm water.

I then took the razor in my hand and held it to the thin skin on my wrist.

I hesitated for a second.

Subconsciously waiting for a sign that I shouldn't follow through.

No sign.

I pressed the blade to my skin.

I was almost numb to the pain, feeling nothing but a slight pinch.

I cut slowly and deeply. 

Blood rushed out of my wrists and diffused with the warm bath water.

Everything went black.