ShAmy: A love story

And It begins

S03E23 - The Lunar Excitation

Howard : Ok , What if i were to tell you that tommorow at 4:30 you could meet a woman who has been scientifically chosen to be your perfect mate ?

Sheldon : I would snort in derision and throw my arms in the air, exhausted by your constant tomfoolery

Raj: But it's true. But we put all your vital information into this dating site, answered all their questions just like you would, and they found a match for you. Her name is Amy Farrah Fowler.

Sheldon: Please. Even assuming you could answer any question the way I would, the algorithms used by matchmaking sites are complete hokum.

Howard: And that's exactly the answer we gave to the question, what is your attitude towards online dating"

Raj: Howard wanted to write mumbo jumbo, but I said no, our Sheldon would say hokum.

Howard: Well, come on, where's your scientific curiosity?

Sheldon: Well, most of it is being applied to unravelling the secrets of the universe while the rest of it's wondering why I'm having this conversation with you.

Raj: Okay, how about this. Even Spock had a date once every seven years.

Sheldon: He didn't date. It was pon farr. His blood boiled with mating lust.

Howard: Okay, well, why don't you start with a cup of coffee, and you can pon farr Amy Farrah Fowler later.

Sheldon: I don't drink coffee.

Howard: All right, you can have a hot chocolate.

Sheldon: As I will not be engaging in this nonsense, my choice of beverage is moot. But for the record, I only drink hot chocolate in months with an R in them.

Howard: Why?

Sheldon: What's life without whimsy?

Howard: Okay, I'm out.

Raj: Sheldon, I've hidden the dirty sock from the roof somewhere in your apartment. Unless you are willing to come with us to meet this girl, it will remain there forever.

Sheldon: You're bluffing.

Raj: Are you willing to risk it?

Sheldon: Curse you.

(next day : coffee shoppe ☕☕)

Sheldon: In a few minutes, when I gloat over the failure of this enterprise, how would you prefer I do it? The standard I told you so? The classic neener-neener? Or just my normal look of haughty derision?

Raj: You don't know we're wrong yet.

Sheldon: Haughty derision it is.

Amy: Excuse me. I'm Amy Farrah Fowler. You're Sheldon Cooper.

Sheldon: Hello, Amy Farrah Fowler. I'm sorry to inform you that you have been taken in by unsupportable mathematics designed to prey on the gullible and the lonely. Additionally, I'm being blackmailed with a hidden dirty sock.

Amy: If that was slang, I'm unfamiliar with it. If it was literal, I share your aversion to soiled hosiery. In any case, I'm here because my mother and I have agreed that I will date at least once a year.

Sheldon: Interesting. My mother and I have the same agreement about church.

Amy: I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance.

Sheldon: Well, then you might want to avoid East Texas.

Amy: Noted. Now, before this goes any further, you should know that all forms of physical contact up to and including coitus are off the table.

Sheldon: May I buy you a beverage?

Amy: Tepid water, please.

Howard: Good God, what have we done?