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3/4

「When darkness comes to me, shine brightly on me
Always believe in me」

Kyunghoon felt nothing as he walked through the school doors. Well, except one thing:

He felt numb.

The boy had spent the past weekend crying into his pillow, not bothering to talk to anyone, wouldn't even open his door when his mother brought up food for him, her soft voice still ringing in his ears. 'Take care of yourself, don't be like your brother, I love you.' But, in all honesty, Kyunghoon didn't really care about his mom right now. Heechul was the only thing that had been on his mind since last Friday, he thought of calling the other or even stopping by his apartment but there was always a nagging voice in the back of his head telling him he should just give up, that he'd already done enough.

Of course, he wasn't paying attention & bumped into someone. Muttering small apologies Kyunghoon tried to walk away but was all-together stopped by a long, somewhat muscular arm. It was Leeteuk. Normally, Kyunghoon would find comfort in the other but he was one of Heechul's friends & right now anyone who reminded him of the elder was not someone he needed to be seeing.

"Kyunghoon, we need to talk." God, how many times had he heard that the past week?

"What- what about?" He asked, willing his body not to tremble & his voice not to shake but, of course, it did so anyway. Leeteuk stared at the younger for a moment before dragging him into the abandoned music room. "Teuk? What's going on? I have class-"

"I don't care about your class right now, what I care about is Heechul," Kyunghoon winced at the name, of course it was about him, what else would he have expected from his, if he can even call him this anymore, boyfriend's best friend. "Look, I understand that what's going on with Nam-Joo is hard on you but you had no reason to go off on him like that. Do you know how much he cares about you?"

"I know, I know. But I can't do this right now."

"I don't care! Kyunghoon, I don't want it to seem like I'm against you but both of you contributed to this & knowing Heechul, he's not going to come to you first," Sighing out of aggravation, Leeteuk pinched his temple, "Just....don't let this drag on any more than it needs to, please. He really does love you but you need to talk to him before Nam-Joo says anything." The younger of the two opened his mouth to speak but Leeteuk just shook his head before walking out, leaving Kyunghoon standing by himself as the bell chimed, ringing in his ears.

////////////

To be honest, Kyunghoon didn't know what he was doing, he'd been stuck in the same room all day, not even leaving to get lunch. His stomach grumbled loudly & the boy looked back at the clock.

'10 minutes...." Kyunghoon could survive that & then he'd just go home, maybe he'd repeat the same thing tomorrow. After all, he could just ask Jung Hwa for notes later. 'You could ask Heechul,' a small voice rang out in the back of his head, it sounded a bit like Leeteuk. He must've been staring at a blank wall for a long moment before the bell rang again, the shrill sound making him wince. Heechul would always laugh at him when they walked together, patting his head & then covering his ears, despite Kyunghoon's protests. It hurt....more than it should've, just to recall it.

There was a moment when things seemed to slow down, as the music room's door opened & it took a moment but Kyunghoon realized....he realized who it was & instead of freezing like he thought he would, the Kim dashed, he dashed straight past Nam-Joo so fast that everything was a blur & he avoided running into most of the crowd minus one person.

"Hoon?"

"I....I'm sorry! I'll go-" Soon after, two arms swarmed around him, pulling him straight into a familiar warmth. He took in a stuttering breath, eyes squeezing shut in an attempt to hold back tears as one thing went around over & over in his head- Heechul. Kyunghoon was relieved for a moment, he'd missed the elder's arms so much, he missed the way his long hair fell at the sides of his face, creating almost a curtain around the two of them.

On one hand, their embrace felt like it was going on forever but at the same time, when Heechul pulled back, it felt like it had ended far too soon. He stared for awhile, just stared down at Kyunghoon like he was the only thing that mattered & there it was. That familiar pain. The pain that reminded him of how he screwed this up, of how Heechul had only wanted to help & comfort Kyunghoon, like he always did & Kyunghoon had just pushed him away, he yelled at him for caring.

"Come on." The older of the two whispered carefully, like he was scared to set the other off & Kyunghoon felt horrible. He had done this. But he followed nonetheless, his hand squeezing onto Heechul like it was the only thing he had, like it was his lifeline & to be honest-

It wasn't that far off.

「When I want to cry, I'll secretly lean on you
Care for me so I can be in pain」