Rise, Rose, Risen {Poofless}

Sunset

-Rob's pov-

I felt stinging pain from my dad hitting and kicking me. My eyes were watering up. Shit I hate that dude, at least now he left me alone. I look at my jumper, it has few blood spots on it. Damn it, better change.

I get up and walk to my wardrobe and grab a black hoodie out. I rest the hoodie on my bed as I take off my jumper. I look down at my chest and stomach. Few bruises, my arms littered with cuts, couple of bleeding spots, my caved in stomach and visible ribs. Still fat though.

I put on the hoodie and throw the jumper into a laundry basket. After that I get back to my pc. Only to find a horrified Brandon.

Fuck

"Uhh... Hi Br- Brandon.." I say sheepishly. "Rob... What was that?!" He shouts. "I-t was n- nothing" I reply nonchalantly. I will not tell him about my life that much. "Rob! Listen up! Either you tell me or I tell all the guys what I saw" he threatened. My eyes widened, no. He can't do that, Vikk would kill me for not telling him. "Fine"

I sigh and look at my lap. "What do you want to know?" I ask annoyed. "Was that your dad, Rob?". I sigh "yes". "Was that the first time?". "No". I feel my eyes water. I hate this! "Rob what were the marks on your arms and thighs?". That one caught me off guard. I didn't expect him to see my cuts. "They're cuts." I state blankly. "Did you do that to yourself?" He wonders next. I stay quiet. "Roooob! You shouldn't do that." he starts preaching. "I know..". "If you feel like doing that again please call me or message me or anything!" He pleads. Yeah sure, he 'cares'. Bullshit, no one cares. "Ok".

"Are you done now?" I ask frustrated. "Yes, I'm sorry Rob. I was just worried.." " Yeah sure, bye" I say and quickly end the call before he can say anything. Damn it!! I'm so dumb. I didn't want anyone to know. I hate my life!

I head again into the bathroom. Is search for my usual box and as I find it I take my blade out. Here we go again.

One for being a fuck up...

Two for being a faggot...

Three for not being loved...

Ten for being a shit friend...

Fifteen for being shit...

Twenty for living...

I see my thighs bleed onto the bathroom floor. Why is life so exhausting? I'm not even an adult. I need to went out somehow. I clean my thighs and put on my sleepwear.

I get into bed and search my bedside table for a book and a pencil. I write to stay sane. I don't like talking to people but writing is a way for me to vent. I start scribbling.

Why does this happen?
What did anyone do?
I couldn't be happy,
What's the point though?
Why me?
I didn't do anything,
I tried to be good,
I'm just not enough.

I sigh, still thinking why. I put the book back to its place and attempt to sleep. Soon enough I fall to a deep slumber.

-Morning-

I wake up and my thighs sting like a bitch. I hate and love this. I feel something but it's frustrating. I get dressed to another hoodie and some jeans. I head out seeing my father again passed out on the couch.

I start walking to the school with Vikk who was waiting for me.

School went around the same way, few punches everyday, Brandon's and I's relationship was a bit awkward, beaten up at home, avoid eating, cut every other day. It was the usual. I was fine with it, it's how it has always gone.

-Friday-

I walk back home with Vikk, we reach my house and as we're about to part our way he speaks up. "Rob?". "Yes Vikk?" I look at him curious, what he's about to say. "Brandon told me you cut again". I get so mad. I can't believe it! That liar! He said he wouldn't tell the others. Fuck! I run back inside. I can't take this. My father isn't home luckily.

I lock the front door hearing Vikk punch it and yell out my name. I push my back against the wall and slide down it and break apart. I cry and cry and cry. I keep crying until I hear that Vikk has been gone for an hour. I hate this, I absolutely hate this. Fuck this actually.

I get up shakily, my trembling legs almost not able to bear my weight. I walk to my father's room and pick up a half full bottle of vodka. I put it in a backpack I have with me and get to the bathroom. I open the bathroom cabinet and take all the pill bottles I find. I drop them in my backpack as well as my blades.

I look in the mirror.

A mess.

I break apart again. I walk to the door and start walking. I walk for fifteen minutes until I reach a hill near a beach. It's hard to find and no one ever is there. It's my spot. I always come here to think.

I sit down on the grass looking at the water, seeing the sunset. I take out my phone and headphones. I go to my Spotify and put Haunted by Zimm on. I grab the bottle of vodka and the pills. I put a handful of pills in my mouth and then take some vodka to swallow it.

It burns my throat and I start feeling ill quickly. I open up the chat with Vik on my phone. I take a picture of the sunset and caption it "It's hard to see the sun when you're living in the rain..." I send it.

I look at the sun go down as I feel myself become tired.

Feel like I'm alone,
I got all these problems and nobody knows.
Everything changed and I hate that I know,
I used to be happy but now I'm so cold.
'Cause home isn't home,
I just keep on running, don't know where to go.
These demons keep coming,
I hope I don't fall.

~~~~~~~~~~~
-Word count 1057-