criminal lover || jelena

twenty-one.

Selena's pov
I looked at myself in the mirror, trying to ignore my red eyes and the dark circles under them. They were the result of endless days of crying over Zayn, days of lying in Justin's arms as he attempted to calm me down, days of hoping that Zayn would just jump of my closet and laugh, telling me that it had all just been one big joke. However, none of that happened.

Thankfully, my eyes didn't look as swollen as they usually did, due to the fact that I had bothered to put some makeup on them, but only for today, only for Zayn, only for his funeral.

I sighed and adjusted the dress that I was wearing.
The seams at the joining of the top and bottom were sewn together in a curve that matches the cut of the beaded design in the dress. It was made of black lace and came up to just above my knees; it had no sleeves and a simple round neckline. It was an elegant dress, modest yet beautiful. It was decorated with lace made flowers, in shades of grey, black and the occasional white. The dark grey and black lace stood out against the white. The dress itself looked as if it was held up by two shapely black straps, which from a distance looked like they were made of chiffon.

The hemline was rimmed with a black thin strip and string-like material hung from the edges, not losing the elegance, but making the lace stand out. The bottom section of the dress, the skirt, had numerous folds and it, my hips looked fuller and the skirt was slightly flared.

Around my neck, hung a beautiful diamond necklace, it was lined with small diamonds that looked iridescent when the light caught them, they were laid elaborately along the necklace. Beautifully cut diamonds set into a single thread.

On my feet were a pair of plain black heels, they seemed appropriate for the occasion and went well with the dress.

I was still staring at myself in the mirror when Justin came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me, "Hey, you okay?" he asked.

Giving him a small smile, I nodded, "I'm okay. You ready to go?"

He nodded and I looked him over, he was wearing a smart black suit, a well ironed white shirt and a black tie, loosely hanging around his neck.

I leaned over and fixed his tie so that it wasn't hanging around his neck and he rolled his eyes, loosening it again.

Justin nodded at the door, "The, um, limos outside, we should get going,"

I nodded and slipped my cold hand into Justin's own, warmer one, enjoying the comfort his touch brought.

We silently made our way downstairs and into the awaiting limo, where Logan, Harry and Taylor were waiting for us, sadness etched across their faces as the gazed out the tinted windows, lost in thought.

When I closed the limo door, they turned to me and murmured polite greetings, quickly returning turning their heads back to face the windows.

The rest of the ride was silent and we were soon outside the church. We exited the limo one by one.

"Hey," Logan said, "At least Zayn will get what he always wanted, a tasteful funeral in a church,"

I couldn't help but crack a smile at that; it was true that Zayn hadn't been a very religious person, but we all felt it was right to have his funeral service in the same place that his body had been put to rest.

By the time the scheduled time for the service arrived, the church was already filled up with people, friends or family, people that knew and cared about Zayn, most of them came up to us and apologized for our loss, while some others just stood by uncertainly.

I clutched Justin's hand as we walked down the aisle; I could see the coffin at the front of the church, enveloped in a garden of flowers, all resting on and around the coffin like a majestic barrier. I wished I could gather the courage to walk over there and pay my respects, to lay my eyes on my brothers motionless body one last time, but I knew that if I went there now, then the tears I had been holding back for his sake would come pouring out.