Josh. Damn Josh.

Why him? Why am I like th... you know, NEVERMIND.

"Just another day in that crappy school", that was my first thought after waking up. This school had put me through hell before, (I'm talking depression, anxiety, sucidal thoughts, I'm talking about IT ALL) and it isn't really planning on stopping any time soon. I had a weird dream with that guy from english class. We were in some sort of forest, I can't remember any details. 

Anyways, I got up, got ready and went downstairs. My mom had made breakfast and I sat down to eat something. It was gross, but I just sat there and kept eating. My father had already eaten, and apparently liked the food just as much as me. Once he saw the look in my face, he smirked and asked: "Something wrong with the food, son?", with the most ironic look on his face. He's a funny guy. I responded and said: "Nono it's fine" and giggled a bit before turning away and finishing my food. I went out and waited for my sister and my dad to come to the car, he drives us to school every day. I take a look at my phone: 

I first visit instagram. As soon as I tap on that pinkish icon, I get greeted with a topless pic of Cameron Dallas. I immediately scroll downwards in case anyone can see, I mean I'm still in the middle of the street, but damn that was a nice way to start this day out. After being on Instagram for a minute, I got kinda bored, always seeing the same selfies and ads, also I don't have much time until my sis&dad arrive, so I shut the app to visit snapchat. I take a look at my notifications and realize that I got loads of snaps in the morning, 23 of them. OMG I forgot to send out my snaps to keep up all these goddamn snapstreaks. I don't really care about them, but I don't want everyone to be mad at me for being such an antisocial potato. 

I hold my finger onto my phone and take a pic of a beautiful *caugh caugh* blackscreen and put some silly stickers on top of it. I send it out and take a look at the snaps, almost identical to mine, except for one. It's from Josh, a Jock at my school I sit next to in French class. I open the snaps, and get greeted with a snap from yesterday, a Gym selfie, topless of course. Damn what is this day? I start blushing. (noone knows, but as you can probably tell already, I'm bisexual). I tap to see the next snap, and it's a black screen with some writing on it. It says: "Wanna go to the Gym tomorrow, 2:30pm after school, meeting point at the train station." I kinda wanna go, but I'm so thin, it'd look embarassing being next to that ripped hot guy workng out. But anyways, I wanted to try it out anyways, I mean I don't do sports in my free time, so that was a nice opportunity to try it out. Plus I've been low key (CAUGH  HIGH KEY) crushing on him for like... forever, so I take the chance and swipe up to answer saying: "I'm in😜", and send out the snap. He immediately replies saying "cool", and I smile.

 I never do stuff with Josh after school, but he's a fun guy. We don't really know each other that much, so that will be quite interesting, also, he's offered me to get me in shape a couple of times, so I guess this won't be the last time for me to go to the gym. As I close snapchat, I can hear the door of our house shutting, so finally, my sister & my dad came. We got in the car, and drove off. I was thinking, thinking about Josh. He's so hot. He's really nice, and he's a perv, just like me sometimes xD. I know he has a nice body, but I want - "Ben?Benny???" oh my sister asked me something. "Sorry, what did you say?", I replied. "Good luck with that english test, she said." OH MY GOD. THAT STUPID TEST. FUCK. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, I DIDN'T EVEN STUDY FOR A SECOND! "Thanks", I reply and look out of the window. I want to think about that goddamn test but I just get distracted by that person that'll sit next to me. That perfect boy. That damn perfect, cute boy. Josh. I know he's straight, but that doesn't prevent me from wanting him. But that thing I'm hoping for'll for sure never happen. Oh fuck. Why him? We arrive at school.

——————————fast forward the other subjects because fuck that shit——————————

English class:

I see Josh walking into the room, my eyes start glowing. He says hi to me and sits down next to me. Before the test starts, I get up and go to the bathroom to google some shit about the stuff that I need to know for the test. After not even a minute, I see Josh entering the bathroom, and my heart races. He says hi laughing at the fact that I actually care about that test. It really is not that big of a deal, but still, I try to get good grades all the time. He goes to the urinal and unzips his pants. I decide to go pee too, but only to stare at his dick. I told ya I'm a perv. After he's done with his business, he looks at me, still smiling a bit. I stay there, now smiling, too. Then, suddenly the lights turn off. I look over to where Josh was standing but he was gone. I go to where I think the lightswitch is and turn the lights back on. As I turn around, I see Josh standing in front of me, HELICOPTERING HIS DICK

I know I sound like a creep, but that got me so fucking horny, you can't believe it. I act like I was in shock, but that was just an excuse to stare at it the entire time. Then, we start bursting in laughter, we couldn't stop. We just stand there, he has his dick STILL sticking out, I never wanted him to put that big, perfect thing back in. He washed his hands, swung around his perfect, now rockhard dick one last time and put it in his pants, I can still see his bulge through his pants though. I think we both felt the chemistry building up between us after, but he tried to ignore it. As we walk out, I can see him staring at something very intensely. I notice it's MY DICK still sticking out bc I forgot to zip up my pants. and he SAW how ROCKHARD it has become. I blush to the point that I'm almost as red as a tomato, like DAYUM I'm red. He notices and we laugh again, as I shove my dick into my pants in the middle of the hallway. Thank god everyone's in their classroom. Well, as AMAZING that trip to the bathroom might have been, I started realizing that he STILL will never love me. As we arrive in the classroom, my mood really pulls me down, but I act like everything's fine. As we sit down, I lose myself in these magical eyes again. Damn I love that fucking boy. And damn I'm just his FUCKING friend. Why him, love? Why not choose a goddamn girl like a normal boy would? Why am I like this? Why can't I be normal?

well that escalated quickly, huh?