Avengers In The Soul World

Part 2- Blaming

Starlord
Oh finally! Sup' dudes. This is heaven right?

Strange
Most likely not.

Starlord
But I died. You guys all saw that!

Spiderman
You screwed everything up!

Starlord
I screwed everything?!

Spiderman
Yes! I have a crush, and a best friend who is probably blaming himself for my death! And my aunt! Poor Aunt May!

Starlord
That fucker killed my true love! The girl I was planning on marrying!

Bucky
Calm down. Please!

Spiderman
No! I first killed my uncle! He died because of me! And I was all she had left! I let Uncle Ben die!

Starlord
(scoffs) yeah right! You have nothing on me! My biological dad was a fucking planet who planned to take over the universe with evil plants!

Spiderman
At least you have a dad! My parents both died when I was little!

Starlord
Oh no I'm not finished. NOT EVEN CLOSE! After he impregnated my mom he placed a tumor in her head! And left me! Fast forward a few years, I watched my mom die of that tumor and right afterwards he sent someone to abduct me, leaving my grandpa behind! That became my adoptive dad! He didn't deliver me because he knew what'd happen to me! He'd seen it happen to thousands of other kids. He kept me and threatened to eat me and lied to me, saying he only kept me around... Because I was small, could fit into places others couldn't. Fast forward to just a few years ago. I had a family, full of dicks who I love! All the sudden this dude says(imitating Darth Vader)"Peter I am your father" And whisks me away to his planet, where he planned on using me as a fucking battery! There my family full of dicks had to fight him, risking their lives for me! And in the end I had to fucking explode his brains!

Strange
Well we need to find the others.

Starlord
Shut up you fucking wizard! After that I loss my god powers! Oh by the way I had fucking god like powers thanks to my fucking father! Oh yeah, my blue adoptive father? Died trying to save me! So you think you have it soo bad you little dipshit!

Spiderman
I do! My parents died when I was only 4! They left me with my Aunt and Uncle! They were going away but then the plane crashed! Then on a school field trip about a year ago all the sudden puberty webs started coming out of me. And I was stronger, faster, and could climb on walls. AND ALL THIS EXPERIENCE MADE ME REALIZE THAT SCHOOL FIELD TRIPS SUCK! Then only a few weeks after I got my powers, my Uncle died trying to save me from burglars! was strong enough to take them on, but I was foolish and didn't take a chance. I vowed to avenge him. I made a suit so I can fight evil. I became Spiderman. Then Mr.Stark took me in and made me awesome wear. But there was this one time. I tried to hold a boat together, almost killed hundreds of people. Afterwards Mr. Stark told me, Its on me if innocent people die. And if I die, it's on him. And thanks to you, Mr. Stark is now guilty. I died. ITS ON HIM!

Strange
You know this made me realize something.

Bucky
What?

Strange
Never to name my kid Peter.

Bucky
Why?

Strange
Because these two are both named Peter and have very similar stories.

Starlord
You're lucky. You're comforted with your fancy suit. You go to school! Me? I was raiding planets and stealing by the time I was 14.

Spiderman
And I've been risking my life to protect people since I was 14.

Starlord
(scoffs) You little piece of shit was recruited to fight an innocent man.

Spiderman
Hey! You were born with powers!

Starlord
Powers that didn't even show until a few years ago when I held an infinity stone with my own hands. We think I got it during puberty.

Spiderman
I got puberty webs! You got off easy!

Scarlet
(throws the boys apart onto rocks) STOP BICKERING BOYS!

Starlord
OH THAT'S AWESOME!

Spiderman
What the fuck dude! She just had to watch her love die twice!

Strange
Jesus. Everyone calm down!

Bucky
Umm... Everyone. Sharing Time.

Strange
This isn't first grade.

Bucky
It'll work. I'll go first. I've died. Twice. I was brainwashed. I've killed people. I killed Stark's parents(Spidey gasps), and almost all of me and Steve's friends are dead.

Strange
I've lost my hands, myself, and the one thing I've been protecting-

Spiderman
By the way, why would you-

Strange
(ignores Spidey) For years.

Scarlet
My mother was murdered because of me and my brother. I was kidnapped, tortured, experimented on by the same people as Bucky. I've been tricked and fooled and been evil. And I payed the price. We were trying to save Sokovia. Ultron tried to shoot at Clint while he was protecting a kid. Pietro ran in front of the bullets, saving Clint, even though my brother didn't like Clint, and vice versa. Clint later saved me from Avengers tower. Then Thanos came to Earth, tried to take the stones. We tried to save him by taking it out carefully, but we couldn't, so I had to kill him right there. But then he used the time stone-

Starlord
See! Strange doomed the universe! Not me!

Spiderman
Shut up!

Scarlet
(crying) And went back in time and made me watch him rip the gem out of his head again! And then I died.

Starlord
I've lost everything. Everything.

Spiderman
I have lost all interest in this conversation.

Falcon
(off screen)And I think I've lost my mind!

Bucky
Oh great timing dirtbag

Falcon
I'm going to take that as a compliment.