You don't know what you do to me

Well this is going to be my first boyxboy story so we'll see how this goes. This story will invlolve swearing, self harm and sexual acts. If you don't like any of those things and don't ship narry then this story probably isn't for you. Enjoy. xx

Niall's Point of View

I swipe the glass along my wrist and wince as the blood starts to flow from the cut. I get up off my bathroom floor and rinse the cut in the sink. After it stops bleeding I bandage it up, rinse off the glass and throw it in the trash can. I exit the bathroom and flop on my bed. I hear laughter ring up from downstairs. The lads have their girlfriends over and they're having a movie night while I'm up here by myself cutting away the pain. Sure they asked me to join them but I can't stand being in the same room as the love of my life while he cuddles up to some stupid girl. Yeah, I said he, I'm gay and I fancy the one and only Harry Styles. But Harry doesn't fancy me- he's as straight as a ruler, he's been dating his girlfriend Emily for a few months now. It was easier to deal with while we were on tour since he didn't see her and could only talk to her on the phone. But now we're on a two month break and he's spent the past four days with her and I'm back to cutting. More laughter floats up the stairs and I groan covering my ears with my pillow. Why does everyone have to be happy except for me? Why do i have to be gay? Why can't I be straight like the other lads? Or if I have to be gay why do I have to love someone who will never love me back? I hear footsteps coming up the staris and I hold my breath. Please pass my door, please pass my door. I chant to myself. But of course the footsteps stop outside my door and there's a light knock on my door. I groan. "Go away." I say turning on my side away from the door. "Ni, it's me." Harry's perfect voice rings out. I swear to god my heart just melted. Keep it cool Niall. "I said go away." I already told them I didn't want to join their little couples night, why won't they leave me alone. "But Ni we're going to Nandos." he says. I perk up at this. Nandos is my favorite place and I'm starving, but this means I have to sit there and watch the cute couple feed each other and whisper to each other acting all cute- no thanks. "No thanks, I'm not hungry." I hear a gasp. "Are you ok Niall? I don't think I've ever heard you turn down Nandos- or food in general." I scoff. "Just dandy." I spit- my voice dripping with sarcasm. "Please Nialler, let me in. I want to help." he whispers. He sounds desperate. But he can't help me especially when he's the problem- well not him he can never bother me, it's his stupid girlfriend that's my problem. "God Harry are you stupid? I said go away! How hard is that for you to fucking understand!" I scream at him suddenly angry. I hate this- I hate the way he makes me feel. I hear more footsteps but unfortunatley they aren't harry's leaving- they're coming towards me. More than likely it's the lads coming to see what the problem is. "What's wrong?" I hear Liam ask Harry. "He said he didn't want to go to Nandos and I asked him if he was ok and he got all sarcastic and I told him I wanted to help and then he yelled at me." Harry answered. He souded frantic and hurt- my heart broke into a million pieces. I hate hurting him I absolutley hate it- I think that by hurting him and being rude to him I'll lose my feelings for him- but I always end up hurting myself. "Ni are you ok?" I hear Liam say. I roll my eyes. "I'd be alot better if everyone would just leave me alone." I hear him sigh. "Ni will you just please let me in?"

Harry's Point of View

"Ni will you just please let me in?" Liam asks Niall through the door. I scoff, Niall said he wanted to be left alone so why would he let Liam in? But much to my surprise his door opens and Liam walks in closing it behind him. I don't get it- why would Niall let Liam in and not me? I slide down the wall and put my head in my hands sighing. I hear someone sit next to me and suddenly my nose is filled with the sweet scent of perfume. I look up to see Emily looking at me- my green eyes meet her blue ones and she gives me a smile- I smile back but only because her eyes remind me of Niall. But Niall's are are more beautiful- they're bluer- more pure. I shake my head- get it together Styles. "Everything will be fine Haz don't worry." She says stroking my arm. But her touch doesn't send sparks up and down my arm like it used to- and her voice doesn't give me butterflies like it used to. Nothing is going to be fine. Niall yelled at me- and Niall never yells, I'm not happy in my relationship anymore and Niall will talk to Liam but not me. I sigh. I never knew things could get so fucked up. "Niall I asked you a question! Stop ignoring it and answer me! Why is your wrist bandaged! How did you hurt yourself?! Did you do that to yourself!" I hear Liam yell. Niall's hurt? He cut himself? Is that why he wanted to be left alone? "IT"S NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUISNESS LIAM!" Niall screams back. What's gotten in to him? "Ni, did- did you cut yourself?" Liam asks his tone softer. "YES LIAM I DID! ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW! I CUT MYSELF! I NIALL HORAN AM A CUTTER! WILL YOU JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE NOW!" Niall screams. He- he cut himself? When did our little Nialler become so hurt and depressed that he started to cut? Suddenly his door flies open and there's Niall- his eyes bloodshot and his cheeks tear stained- his eyes are no longer a bright blue, but a pale sickly looking blue. I get up and put my hand on his shoulder. He pushes me away from him and I slam into the wall. "Don't fucking touch me." he says- his voice dripping with anger. The he flies down the stairs and minutes later the front door opens and slams shut- indicating that Niall has left.

So that's the first chapter. I hope you like it.