Damon

secrets out

Ava

It's been four months...

Four months of depression along with carrying a human being inside of me.

Why me?

I've been getting sick every morning... and it's horrible.

I have nobody...

of course I have my mom, but I don't have Damon being me... holding my hair and rubbing my back.

I don't have Damon at all.

He's ignoring me.

Fucking and making out with girls right in front of me...

which gave me mental breakdowns.

I have to go to counseling after or even during school if I need it that soon.

I fell in depression after Damon broke up with me.

It made me realize, I love him too.

And seeing him make out with girls in front of me on purpose, makes this pit and anger and saddens build up inside of me, like yin and yang.

I'm going through episodes of refusing to eat.

I drink a lot in hopes to think I'll get skinny again so Damon doesn't notice.

It hurts so bad... I cry every single night so either mom, dad or Natalie come comfort me.

Felix, Hunter, Aiden and Froy visit me everyday when they can since they know the depression I'm going through, not the pregnancy.

I'm actually in school now, crying in the empty bathroom, I mean, everyone's in class.

I suddenly feel as urge to throw up so I immediately get on my knees and open the toilet seat, letting it all out.

I've never thrown up at school, well, since I'm four months pregnant now, I haven't thrown in awhile.

Weird.

Once I'm finished. I get out of the stall and wash my face.

I look at myself in the mirror... my eyes are so red and I have bags under them...

I'm so pale and look dead awful.

I though the makeup would help, but then again, I made the mistake of crying so now ,t mascara is running all down.

I frown and walk out of the bathroom and into my classroom where Damon makes out with this girl in the back of the class. I hold my guard up and sit at my seat, trying to do my work, but I can concentrate with the smacking lips behind me.

I can't do this.

**

I walk into therapy, crying my eyes out. "Ava! Are you okay?!" my therapist, Marisa, softly asks and walks over to me. I wipe my tears, but they fall out harder. "Hey hey hey, calm down! Here's a water" she takes a water from the fridge and hands it to me. I struggle to breathe and shakily takes the water. "Oh girl you can't even breathe! Remember the breathing techniques"