P.S. (Please Stay)

Five

After closing the bedroom door behind her, Olivia slunk to the floor and covered her face with her hands. She felt sick and ashamed at her disregard for Ben. How unfair she was to him. She hadn't meant to tell Harry her true feelings. Those were deep, dark secrets she was meant to keep buried forever. She said yes to Ben. She made the choice to marry him, to one day have a family and a happy life with him. Thoughts of what could have been with Harry should not be on her mind. The memories of him and her should have faded. But even before the chance meeting at the little coffee shop, the memories hadn't even begun to diminish from her mind.

She breathed out a quiet sigh. She didn't know how she would find sleep with Harry just steps away, but she stood up and walked towards the bed. The sooner she found sleep, the sooner she could leave Harry and focus on her life without him.

Olivia picked up the folded clothes on the end of the bed. A T-shirt and sweatpants, both belonging to Harry. He'd laid them out for her, ensuring she had a comfortable night. His thoughtfulness was so endearing. She sighed again, holding the shirt to her face. Somehow, even though the shirt smelled of laundry detergent, it also had his scent. What was he doing to her?

As Olivia disappeared into the guest bedroom, Harry flopped back onto the couch. He ran his hands through his hair as he replayed the words she'd spoken. How could it always be him if it wasn't him anymore? Had he really given up on her too easily?

He groaned loudly, wondering what would have happened if he hadn't listened to his friends, and tried to contact Olivia after their break up. He couldn't count the number of times he'd drafted a text message or rehearsed a speech, only have a friend tell him that there were plenty of other fish in the sea and he needed to get under someone else to get over her.

And so, he listened. He got under this girl, and that girl, and they got under him. He had a very public rebound and broke Olivia's heart further. How she even still spoke to him after that affair baffled Harry. He didn't deserve her. But still, he wanted her.

He rolled off the couch and started down the hall. He stopped in front of the guest bedroom, exhaling as he pressed his hand against the closed door. It took everything he had to not open the door and curl up next to his love. It was the ultimate form of torture; having her just on the other side of a door and being unable to do a thing about it.

Harry sighed again, casting a forlorn glance at the door before trudging down the hall to his own bedroom. He didn't think he would be able to sleep, and he hoped Olivia would still be in his home come morning. But he knew she wouldn't be.

~*~*~*~

Olivia had set her phone alarm for five in the morning, but she didn't need the loud tone to rouse her. She might have found a few winks of sleep but she couldn't be sure. Guilty thoughts of being with Harry consumed her mind, and if it wasn't for the ring on her left hand weighing her down, she'd have been down the hall with him.

She peered out the window, relieved to see clear streets and a few vehicles. The snow was still falling, but not near as bad as it had the night before. She hoped the venture home wouldn't be too terrible, but she had to leave before Harry awoke.

As quiet as she was able, Olivia crept out of the bedroom. The apartment was dark and the door to Harry's remained closed. She breathed out a sigh, a mixture of relief and disappointment, as she gathered her belongings. She opened the front door, hating that she wished she was staying. With another quiet exhale, Olivia stepped into the hallway and, as the door locked behind her, there was no turning back.