Your pov
Harry and I have been a couple for a while now. 11 months and 23 days to be precise. Nobody knew about us and I agreed on keeping it a secret. Harry knew that if he took our relationship public I'd get a lot of unnecessary and unfounded hate. Besides he would be questioned about me in every single interview. I respected his decision. I knew that he has more experience with this kind of life and world than I did so he obviously knew what he was doing. I was just a young actress who had appeared in only two or three productions. I was pretty good tho. Very talented, at least people were telling me so. I eveb got a small part in Dunkirk, Harry's latest movie and I couldn't be prouder of him, and of myself of course. Nevertheless I felt a bit weird and sad not being able to hug him, kiss him or even hold hands with him in public. It was the only thing on my mind lately. We were together for almost a year now and the great come out was all I wanted. I tried to convince him that I'm ready and that it will be okay but he wasn't even listening to me. He was scared. He was scared that I'm gonna get hate or I'm gonna get hurt and that everybody's gonna assume that he got me this part in Dunkirk (which wasn't true).
Today was the premiere of the movie. We were both invited but since nobody knew about our relationship, both of us had to go alone and pretend to be surprise to see each other, hug and go separate ways. It hurt me when I thought about that. I really did love him. And he loved me too. So what was the problem. Was he embarrassed? Omg Y/N stop thinking like that. Maybe he's got some other girl. STOP IT! What if he wants to end this soon and that's the reason...
"You okay kitten? You've been there for ages" I heard Harry's voice from the other side of the bathroom door.
"I'm- I'm fine.." I replied trying to sound normal.
"May I come in?" He asked knowing that something was up.
"No! Umm.. I mean. I'm naked" I lied. I was actually fully dressed. I had my black, Givenchy gown on. Make-up done, hair done, nails done. Everything perfect.
"Was that supposed to stop me?" He laughed and opened the door. Damn he looked good. He had a pink suit and a black shirt, a bit messy but cute hairstyle. God why is this happening. Every single woman's gonna drool all over him and I'll be just quietly watching this. Jealousy's gonna. Eat. Me. Alive.
"You look... Phenomenal" he said coming up to me and hugging me from behind. I laid my head on his shoulder and we were standing like for a minute. In complete silence. Just enjoying each other's company.
"It's gonna literally suck tonight" I broke the silence.
"I know but it's just a couple hours. We can make it" he said tightening his arms around my waist and kissing my neck gently.
"No.. you're gonna make it and I'm just gonna try to survive. There's no 'we' tonight Harry" I sighed and left the bathroom leaving him alone.
After that the atmosphere was a bit tense. He tried to lighten things up but failed miserably. I wasn't in the mood.
Finally our cars have arrived. Two separate cars. He was going first. Then me. 15 minutes after him.
When I got out of the car and laid my foot on the red carpet I felt so much anxiety that I thought I was going to pass out. Right there. In front of all the photographers and other stars and fans and the rest of the world watching from their homes. I felt sick. My heart was racing and I could feel my legs shaking. I needed Harry. I really did but I knew that I can't count on him tonight. He was looong gone, probably in the middle of an interview with some hot blondie or something. He's probably already forgotten about me. Y/N stop this. C'mon girl. You've got this.
After a few interviews it was time for the photos. I was supposed to stand in front of a big white poster with Dunkirk written all over it and pose for all the shouting guys with cameras.
And again, as I entered the carpet I felt a next wave of crushing anxiety. I felt like I was under water. It was awful. Nobody noticed tho. They were all still shouting at me and telling me were to look and what to do.
"Y/N smile!" One guy yelled.
"Y/N look here!! Eyes up here!!"
"C'mon Y/N you can do better! Look here"
I wasn't going to survive this. I really wanted to run away. That's it I'm going home. I don't care what they are going to say about me later. I really... I couldn't even think due to how loud they suddenly became. All of a sudden I felt somebody's hand on my waist. I looked up and blinked a couple of times. People were going crazy. The celebs, the paps, the fans.
"Just breathe for me kitten" Harry smiled. It was a cute, concerned smile. Oh my God. He noticed. I took a deep breath. He kissed my head what caused even more screaming and flashes to go off.
"Okay. Now smile for the pictures. They're gonna be on every cover of every magazine tomorrow" he laughed and I giggled putting my arm around his waist. We looked at each other with wide, genuine smiles.
"This evening was one of the best nights of my life. Thank you" I said kissing his cheek while he was brushing his teeth. It was around 2 in the morning and we just came back from the after party. He looked at me funny.
"Why are you thanking me?" He mumbled, his mouth full of toothpaste.
"Cause it wouldn't be the same without you. It meant a lot to me. What you did. You didn't have to and I know that you didn't want to but I really appreciate it" I said playing with my fingers.
He put back the toothbrush and turned to me.
"I couldn't leave you there like this. You're my girlfriend. I wanted to protect you but at the same time I was being kind of selfish. It's not my relationship. It's ours so if you wanted to go public I should have had respected that long time ago. I love you and I wouldn't want anything bad happen to you so I was being a creep for the whole night tonight and I've been watching you from the beginning. When I realized that you needed me, well.. there was only one thing I could have done, right?" He put his large hands on my waist and looked deep into my eyes while saying that.
"Where did I find you?" I asked and he laughed.
"Let's go to bed Mrs. Styles" he kissed my nose. "Oh it's gonna be fun tomorrow."
