Loss

1. Mori

Mori changed after he became Boss. Dazai knew his mentor had to, but it didn't make the divide hurt any less.

A few years later, Mimic happened. Dazai figured out Mori's machinations to get the gifted organization license. There was far less shock and sadness then there was anger.

2. Odasaku's advice

Odasaku rarely gave advice. Each time, Dazai would shut up and let his acquaintance-friend?-speak his piece. It tended to be a soul shaking observation followed by a suggestion of how to fix the problem. Which is why, when Odasaku decided to give advice while bleeding out, Dazai kept quiet and let his friend speak.

"...nothing beyond what you would expect will appear. Nothing in this world can fill that lonely hole you have. You will wander in darkness for eternity."

"Be on the side that saves people. If both sides are the same, become a good man. Save the weak, and protect the orphans. Neither good nor evil means much to you, I know... but that'd make you at least a little bit better..."

"Of course I know. I know better than anyone. Because... I am your friend."

Dazai strode out of the hall unsteady, but determined. There was a course set for him.

He would live on, although he was still going to attempt suicide. But while he lived, he would follow Odasaku's advice, that last piece of important advice.

3. His friendship with Ango

There was little to say about Ango. Dazai respected the official for being able to fool everyone in the Port Mafia and Mimic with his 'triple spy' act. But he would not, would never, be forgiven for the part he played in Odasaku's death.

4. Chuuya's loyalty

Leaving without telling Chuuya would break their trust, which was good. And to ensure Chibi wouldn't come after him to demand answers and luckily find him: Dazai put a bomb under Chuuya's car. His mission accomplished, Dazai skipped along the sidewalk, ready to meet Chief Taneda.

It was four years later that Dazai realized it hadn't worked.

"I trusted you...you b******d. You better bring me to the extraction point," the tired redhead stated. His sapphire eyes were furious as he lightly punched Dazai in the chest. Chuuya then collapsed, his body forced him into a deep sleep to repair the damage caused by Corruption.

"Sure thing partner," Dazai replied with a smile. He was lying, he was totally leaving Chuuya here.

But...He hadn't lost his ex-partner's- friend's?-loyalty. Dazai grinned, Chuuya was always stubborn like that. The brunette chuckled to herself, his steps felt lighter even though he was exhausted.

5. Lack of prying from his new colleagues

Dazai hated the feeling of being interrogated. Telling the truth about his thoughts and actions was an absolute no.

His friends figured out what they could and settled with not knowing some. Odasaku found out the most, Chuuya was the second most knowledgeable. How they got to those spots was because they stuck around and didn't pry at him directly for answers.

Once all of his colleagues knew he had been in the Port Mafia, the questions and unsubtle interrogations began. Dazai always distracted them before they pressed for an answer or answered vaguely. Until one day when a flurry of cases had run dry and allowed the detectives some peace.

The brunette had been reading through his suicide guidebook; occasionally he looked up and lauded some of the ways to commit suicide as 'quite painless' and relatively easy'.

A sudden thought struck Atsushi and came out of his mouth before he could think better of it. "In the Port Mafia, did, er, do, you have any friends?"

Dazai paused for a second, he looked up for a moment to meet Atsushi's eyes, then blandly answered, "three."

Everyone in the office went silent, shocked at the straight answer their coworker had given. Atsushi blinked, momentarily unable to comprehend the development before him. Even Kunikida stopped typing on his laptop and looked at his partner. Yosano stepped out of infirmary to see what had caused the lack of noise. Dazai smirked at his colleagues.

Atsushi's mind finally rebooted nd he went to the next question. "What happened to them?"

The office stayed silent, eyes solidly locked onto Dazai.

Dazai tapped his fingers against his leg and cheerfully snarked, "eeryone is unusually quiet, how odd. Are you all that desperate to learn about my past?"

His coworkers shifted uneasily. Atsushi winced, "sorry, Dazai," the weretiger meekly apologized.

Dazai blinked slowly and swept his gaze around the room. "One is a Port Mafia Executive, one was a traitor who is actually part of the Special Abilities Department, and...one is dead."

Dazai had a nostalgic sorrowful look, an unusual sight on the man who usually masked his feelings with cheer and a smile, "I called him Odasaku."

A/N

So, I really should be working on all my other stories...but I got a plot bunny. Since I didn't post anything this past week, I'm posting this today.

Lol, I keep making my beta Ash sad, the bsd things I've been writing are all angst. (;

-Silver