Changes.

Date : July 1st, 2014.

Today, is the day that will change my life forever. Today is the day that I bury my mother. Thinking back to the times when we had no worries, when we thought that everything was fine. Atleast, that's what she told us. Now, the only thing in this world that keeps me alive on these streets is pushing rocks. Holding a glock to a nigga head, as he begs for mercy is like music to my ears. I've been in this drug game since I was fifteen years old, I'm nineteen now. I've been doing this for, four years. But niggas respect me like I've been doing for a lifetime. My momma always told me that she wanted me off the streets, but she knew I would never listen. I can't leave my niggas. I can't leave the niggas that's gon' ride for me, die for me, shoot a bullet out the nine for me. I even dragged my lil' brother Malik into it, we weren't actually brothers but we were so close that we might as well be. I always lied and said I would stop, but lord knows I won't. But maybe someday, I'll take a chance and make a change. But today, just isn't that day.

Chresanto Lorenzo Romelo August.

Royal.

My aunt called me downstairs, to let me know that the limo had arrived. I haven't shed a single tear since my mother has passed, and that was six days ago on a Monday. I don't cry, tears are a sign of weakness.

I ain't no weakminded nigga.

I jogged downstairs and straight out the front door, wanting to get this day over with so I can hurry and get back to the trap. We filed into the limo and made our way to the funeral home, my mom went to church but she always said she didn't want her funeral there because they take too long. I looked to my right and seen my sister Prehia, crying her eyes out as she gazed out the window. I wanted to comfort her but, I didn't know how. My mother believed in tough love, not that sappy sentimental bullshit.

"Chres, why aren't you crying?" My sister asked me, as she swiftly wiped the tears from her eyes. I gave her a look of confusion, wanting to know why she wanted to know why I wasn't crying.

"What's there to cry for, ya' feel me? I understand that mom is gone, but me cryin' ain't gon' bring her back. The more you cry, the more you think about it. I'ont really wanna' think about it." I said coldly, looking her in her face as her mouth dropped out a little bit.

"Y'know Chresanto, you can be so cold hearted sometimes. Mom is fuckin' dead and all you can is you cryin' won't bring her back? What kind of shit is that?" She asked, as she continued to sob.

"That's the kind of shit I'm talkin'." I shrugged, as I turned my back to her and continued to look out the window.

"Sometimes I wish it was you that died of cancer instead of mom, she didn't deserve it." She mumbled, as a bolt of anger went raging through my veins. I clenched my hands into fists to stop myself from exploding, I calmed myself down as we pulled into the parking lot of the funeral home.

I pushed the door of the limousine open and stormed inside of the funeral home, with my aunt calling my name. I continued to walk until I reached my mother's casket. I just stood there and gazed at her body, she was so still. I felt like she would just open her eyes and smile. I let a small smirk plaster on my lips, as I placed a sweet kiss on her forehead. She was so cold, so stiff, so...not like my mother.

I continued to stand there, as the rest of my family filed in and looked over my mother's body. There were people there that I didn't even recognize, my aunt told me they were family. I shook my head and laughed.

"Family isn't even family. They just show up when it's necessary for them." I said, as I pulled out my phone and began to scroll down my TL on Twitter. I decided to tweet since I had nothing better to do, to occupy myself.

Royal3R : Family isn't even family, they just show up when they feel it's necessary for them.

I sent the tweet and almost a minute after I sent it, I had gotten fifteen retweets and replies. I didn't have time to check them, due to the fact that the funeral services had started. I sat there as the preacher went on and on about my mother. It's not like he knew her ass, he was going off of what he heard my distant relatives say. I glanced over to Prehia and seen that she was still crying, I wish she'd stop that stupid shit.

I mean, I feel as thought that it's completely unnecessary. The fuck you crying for? Momma can't see you, she can't hear you, she can't comfort you, she's dead. She won't be coming back, there's no reason for crying because whether she cries or not, Momma ain't coming ain't.

Another thirty minutes passed, when it was finally time for us to make our way to the cemetery. I was forced to help carry the casket out, my aunt and I argued for about twenty minutes before I gave up and did it. We placed my mother into the hearse and made our way to the cemetery. It took about thirty minutes to get there, the limousine driver was driving slow as hell. We finally arrived, they did all that extra bullshit and the funeral and burial process was over.

As everyone filed out, I remained alone standing next to my mother's casket.

"Ma, I know you can't hear me. But, I love you and I don't know how I'm gon' cope without you bein' here with me. I know I was a bad ass kid, when nobody else saw potential in me, you did. I thank you for that and even though I'm still doing wrong, I'll try my best to do right by you. I'll take care of Prehia, I'll make sure she's okay. I know you're leaving us the house and all the other stuff, so I guess we'll be okay as far as materialistic things. But there's one thing missing from all of this and that's you. I love you ma, I'll do right. But I'm only doing it for you. I love you." I said, as the tears started to stream down my face. I wiped them away quickly and climbed into my aunt's car.

Prehia was still crying and my aunt hasn't even spoken to me. We were now headed to the repass. It was being held at my mother's house, or as I should say my house now. Everybody filed inside and I strayed off as I heard Prehia and my aunt talking.

"He still hasn't cried. What the hell is his problem?" Prehia asked my aunt, as she wiped her tears away.

"He'll cry, it just hasn't hit him yet. He might not cry for a long time, but he'll cry eventually. Now c'mon lets go inside and eat." She said, as she gave her a quick hug and made her way inside.

What the hell is she talking about? It hasn't hit me yet, I know my fucking mother is dead. I just don't want to show people my weakness, I'll be straight. I just went inside and went straight up to my room, changed my clothes and layed across the bed.

[Jiggy J!] : Aye fool, you coming to the trap or nah?

                                    Nah man, y'know my moms funeral was today.

[Jiggy J!] : Aight man, just hit me up later on. My condolences go to you and your fam. Peace.

                                   Aight man, I will. Thanks, one.

I put my phone on the charger and began to doze off to sleep. I just don't want to be bothered today.

····

Will Chres be able to accept his mother's death?

Will he be able to keep his word and stop selling?

Why does Prehia keep asking about him not crying?

Yeaaaa, leggo! I'm back with this wonderful story about my mans Chresanto August. Hope y'all enjoy it and rock with me til' the end.

Add a bitch on kik ♥ > GetLike_Meira0731

Follow a bitch on that new twitter shit. @_Me2wice.

Follow a thug on the gram ♥♡ > MeiraNachae

Don't forget to read my other bullshit.♥

On that Cali shit, ♥

Bishes Be Out ♥ ❤