A Soldier I Will Be

Chapter 1

A/N: So this is a Dramione eighth-year fic. I know that trope is a bit overused, but I love it soooo much and don't worry I do have some twists involved. I do have this posted over on FF, so I'll go ahead and post a few chapters at once so this site is caught up. Anyway, please RnR and enjoy!

Chapter 1

"Hermione?" Hermione's brain barely even registered the voice. She was lost in the darkness of her mind. She could feel the phantom of the knife, the memory of the pain was sharper than the actual blade had ever been, and her ears rang with her own screams. And through it all, she saw him. Saw him watching, doing nothing. Tears stung behind her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. She hadn't let them fall so far, and she wasn't planning to start now.

"Hermione, please, this is getting ridiculous." The voice penetrated this time, and Hermione's head snapped up as she crashed back to reality. The sensation felt like a vertigo attack as memories and phantom screams disappeared, leaving in its stead a train compartment and the concerned face of a redheaded witch.

"I'm sorry?" Hermione asked, clearing her throat when her voice rasped slightly.

Ginny raised a perfect ginger eyebrow. "Hermione, you've been staring out of that window for the past hour, ignoring anything I say to you, and you've been clenching your jaw and your fists like you had a bet with yourself on which would break first."

"Sorry Gin," Hermione muttered, shoving a wayward brown curl out of her face. "I'm fine."

Ginny folded her arms, unconvinced.

"Really Gin, I'm fine," Hermione lied again, "I was just lost in thought. I'm fine." She shrugged, wondering how many times she would have to repeat the words before they actually became true.

Ginny sighed collapsing into her own seat. "I know the war was hard on you 'Mione, probably harder than on most, but you're really starting to worry me. Do you have any idea how much of the summer you spent 'lost in thought'?" Her blue eyes were filled with concern, and Hermione felt guilty. She was blocking the girl out, which only seemed to make the redhead more determined to get past her defenses.

"I'm just... I have to sort things out in my mind, Gin. I'm getting better - I just need a little more time, ok?" The witch smiled at her younger friend. That much was not a lie - she almost never zoned out anymore, which was an improvement. Usually the memories only caught up with her at night. She and Harry had both spent the summer at the Burrow, and there had been countless nights when Harry heard her tossing and turning through the wall, and had ended up sleeping on the floor next to her bed. Even though she had shared a room with Ginny, the nights when Harry had camped out next to her had been the only nights that she had been able to actually sleep. She cracked a small smile at the thought - her best friend had killed the Dark Lord, and now moonlighted as a nightmare-repellant.

Ginny sighed. "I believe you 'Mione. But..." she bit her lip, and the worry line between her eyebrows deepened as she looked at her friend. It was as if she wanted to say something, but was afraid of how the brunette witch might react.

Hermione rolled her eyes."Spit it out, Ginevra," she scolded jokingly.

"It's just..." Ginny shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "You're still healing. Are you sure you're fully up to all the responsibilities of being Head Girl?"

Hermione's brow furrowed. "You don't think I can do it." Her tone straddled the line between asking a question and making an accusation.

"No, no, it's not that!" The redhead knew that expression all too well - Hermione was about to go into defense mode, which would effectively kill any chance of getting through to her. "I just feel like maybe you would be able to heal better if you weren't under all that stress."