Sis' --Indefinite Hiatus--

Prologue

Decided to just do the prologue first, a little teaser :)

Ca-chick!

Ca- chick!

Ca- chick!

Pictures.

Forever ingrained into my brain. No matter how much I want to delete them, like when I look through my camera, wince at a badly taken, blurry photo and just hit the 'rubbish bin' icon. Away it goes, erased forever.

Unfortunately, these scenes are here to stay in my mind.

I remember them everyday when I look at her, as if fresh in my mind. They say I have photographic memory. I like to define it as remembering the scene - every sight, colour, detail jumbled together. The contrast of expressions and different shades of colour. The dark patch of grass underneath the shade of the light green leaves. The jubilant grins plastered on toddlers' faces compared to anxious mothers watching on. All these woven together, making a beautiful picture.

Often, they aren't just pictures alone, though. All the other senses and emotions come into play in a scene like this. Voices we hear, feelings bubbling, boiling inside of us, smell, touch.

That's why these memories hit me hardest - because I remember the details.

~ ~ ~

My childhood memories were full of her.

That’s quite obvious, isn’t it? We’re inseparable. Everyone always pairs us up together because of who we are. Little do they know how different we actually are.

Since young, she always, always made me feel like the childish, immature one. When I was six, I had dropped my first tooth and stuffed it under my pillow exuberantly, hoping against hope that I would get a gift from it. In the morning, I gingerly fingered under the pillow and to my surprise and joy, there was a smooth coin! I was elated.

“The tooth fairy came!” I had sung, grinning from ear to ear, proudly showing off the empty space between two teeth that had been vacated.

My sister had snorted. “Oh please,” she had snickered, rolling her eyes sardonically. “Come on, we’re not little kids. Don’t believe in such childish fantasies.”

I had felt hurt, but kept my mouth shut, holding on to the last shred of hope that was fast diminishing. Stared after her as she walked away, clutching on to that tooth. I had always believed in the tooth fairy, and then I had felt ashamed, humiliated that someone, the closest one to me, was ridiculing me for it.

Another incident. Feeling bored, I was itching to play something. As my sister came into the room, I immediately pounced in front of her.

“Can we play pretend?” I begged with a beseeching look on my face. “Please? We can build a fort with the pillows, blankets and defend our own fort-”

She pushed me aside brusquely. “Shove off,” she said gruffly, throwing me a scathing look. “Who plays pretend nowadays? We’re not toddlers! And I’ve got better things to do then waste my time building imaginary forts with my blankets and pillows.” With that, she stalked off.

At that time, I was hurt. Too.

Another incident. I was younger – only five. It was the first day at kindergarten. Hesitatingly I walked in, clinging on tightly to my sister’s elbow. My sister, on the other hand, exuded confidence with every step, more so than me. “Don’t be such a baby!” she scoffed, shrugging me off and throwing me a look that said it all. Hurt, I let go.

Now, I feel like I’m always a distance from her. No matter what, we always seem to be separated, going about our own things at school, stiff and distant at home. Sometimes I wished for a change, other times I was happy with who I was.

It was never the same again.