yeah, i threw up. again. i feel like i'm gonna die, i can't breathe, and all i've done for the past four hours is bawl, hug my knees, and sit in a dark room.
let's start from the beginning.
i was at a friend's house earlier. we were doing the funniest things, listening to the best musicals, and just dancing when unnecessary. this is my best friend. let's call her “O”.
i've known O since september of 2017. we got along well, we're interested in the same fandoms, and were both great singers and artists.
last night i stayed over at O's.
i went to sleep in the guest bedroom. she wanted to sleep in there with me, so i didn't really mind.
until the whole night, in her sleep, she kicked me off the bed, let her fucking 300 pound dog that covers the whole house in his fur sleep right in the middle of the queen bed. i get really bad anxiety during the night, to the point where i get nauseated. so i only got one hour of sleep last night.
a little bit earlier, i began chatting with two of my great friends. my ex boyfriends old friends, who i absolutely adored. the two are hilarious, and they were into the same thing me and O are into; South Park.
of course, we decided to make a group out of all of us. let's call my two guy friends “E” and “P”.
I had had a crush on P for the longest time. He was adorable, and always acted just like his cosplay character, Kenny McCormick. So tonight, I decided, “why not ask him out? It wouldn't hurt. It's kinda obvious that he likes me, since he flirts with me so often”.
so, the whole night became full of drama, hallucinations, sobs, hope, and vomiting for me.
that was after P said he liked someone else and wasn't interested.
that someone else was O, who was my best friend, that i immediately hated. she told me that they were flirting over text behind my back, even though she knew that i liked him, and she was "sorry".
the issue: they just met yesterday. they don't even know eachothers names. they've never met in person. i was the reason that they met.
oh, and today, my dogs got in a fight and one of them died right after P rejected me.
goodnight. :)
