Just the Beginning

Prologue

His fingers trace asymmetrical shapes on my skin.  My hand wonders aimlessly down his chest as his cool breath dances across my lips.  My legs intertwine with his; the white cotton duvet drapes lazily over our bodies.

"We can't keep doing this." I whisper as he presses his mouth to my forehead.  "This needs to stop." I squeeze my eyes shut and inhale sharply. 

"Do you want to stop?"

No.

I swallow hard.  "It's not what I want." I couldn't bear to look him in the eyes. "But I can't keep playing this game.  It's unfair to both us.  I can't be with two people." I exhale and my voice grows quiet. "I don't know what to do."

"You have to make a decision."  He stated, clearly annoyed.

"I know I do.  I just don't want anyone to get hurt." I choke.

"You don't want anyone to get hurt?" He gets out of bed and makes his way to the window. "You should have thought of that before you fucked me and my best friend."  His body tenses with every word that is spoken. "You don't get it do you?" He turns his head to me.

I shook my head, losing my ability to form coherent words.

"I am in love with you." He confesses. "I am inevitably in love with you and all you care about is how you feel." He runs a hand through his hair. "Have you ever taken our feelings into consideration?"

I open my mouth to respond but no sound is made.

Silence.

He clears his throat.  "I need you to answer this one question." I meet his gaze; his expression is molded into a look of frustration and pain.

I nod and he clenches his jaw.

"Do you-" he pauses and shuts his eyes.  "Do you love him?"

Yes.

But I love you, too.

"Answer me." He pleads.  "Please."

"I do." I huff.  He fiddles with his hands.

"But I also love you." My voice cracks.

I wait. 

Silence.

"Well?" I wait again.

Nothing.

"Alright." I mutter.  "I'll see you around, I guess."  I pull myself out of bed and glance back at him one last time.

"I'm sorry."