Skinny Love

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The Third Date

I think I already failed at the 2nd date we had. What's with the empty messages sent to me, hindi ko alam kung ano ang meaning niya. But I held on to the last three dates we still have.

Okay na sana eh, it was going well. But admittedly, hindi talaga ako mentally na suited kay Kuya. He is optimistic and I'm the opposite.

I'll drain him if he offers comfort. I've experience various scenarios where I am the comforter and it really is draining.

I haven't adjusted to him either. Puro nalang tungkol sakin ang mga convo namin. How can I understand him at this point if I am the only one letting him in? Ahh, maybe I've definitely let him take a glimpse inside of me... which is really regrettable for me. A loss, that is.

Baka kasi iba na yung impression niya sakin.

So three weeks passed after that date. Mom kept on asking if when's the third but honestly, I answered her I don't know. Konting-konting excuses nalang at magtatanong na talaga siguro siya kung ano ba talaga ang nangyari.

I didn't reject him. It wasn't like that. People build walls for a reason. I build mine to protect the fragile part of me. I have the right just like everyone does.

It's already March, hinihintay nalang namin ang final examination habang paisa-isang nagpapasa ng mga Performance Tasks. I wonder if kuya is busy with academics too that's why he doesn't contact me much. Ayoko rin namang distorbohin siya kaya ay hindi ako nagmemessage sa kanya.

I'm just hoping that next date will end on a nice note. Malapit na pa naman ang birthday ko. I just want to feel happy and satisfied for once.

--

Pagdating ng weekend, Mom really cornered me. She started with a concluding sentence.

"Did you reject him na?"

I had to stop doing my thing in my room at that asking moment of hers. I shook my head and went back to typing my project. "Naghihintay pa rin ako kung kailan ang susunod na date."

"Wala ka bang plano na mag-initiate?" tanong niya.

Sumahod ako sa kanya galing sa kama ko habang nakatingin ako sa nag-aalalang mukha ni Mama.

"Pahingi po ng allowance para maka-initiate po ako. Siguro nag-iipon, Ma, intindihin naman natin." Sabi ko sa kanya at bumalik ulit sa aking ginagawa.

"Ano bang ginagawa niyo kapag nagde-date kayo?" Now she sounds suspiscious.

"We eat and talk. We walk around, eat and then talk. Yun lang, normal getting to know you." Sabi ko sa kanya habang binibigyang diin ang mga ginagawa namin.

Baka kasi nag-iisip rin siya na hindi mabuti ang ginagawa namin, na hindi naman siguro rin mangyayari knowing kuya partially that he isn't that kind of guy. I just know that because he is a respectful person. Hindi siya ganoon na basta-basta nalang. He's a good person, I believe.

"So nauumay ka sa kanya?"

"Ha? I'm not saying that. Para talaga siyang kuya, yung by blood? Yung 'we can talk anything under the sun'."

"Then can you ask him if may feelings siya sayo?"

Sa sobrang shocked ko hindi ko agad nasagot ang kanyang tanong. It is a mistake, she probably thinks now that I'm lying. "Sobrang weird naman ng tanong na yan. How can you validate if you like the person when you just hanged out in two separate days?"