Indie Kids And Losers

dear kydaline

Location- Charlotte, Iowa
(Population-5,695)
Greyson Clausen's Bedroom
March 3rd, 2014
{6:31 p.m}

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Greyson Clausen•Cameron Monaghan

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Dear Kydaline,

How do I even go about this. I love you more then everything on this world and probably the next. I miss the way your strawberry curls would catch into my face on car trips. I miss your laugh even though I said it was annoying and sounded like a middle aged man. I miss your eyes and-

It's kind of funny. I can hear you telling me to quit being a poetic fuck and get to the point already. Maybe it's a twin thing.

What even is the point of this? I don't know. Your dead and I'm alive and I miss you and I guess that the sharpest point your going to get.

God Ky.

Everyone says they understand but they don't. Not really.

I lost my other half. Whose supposed to tell me what laundry soap to use on my black clothes and when to go to bed because I've got a game tommorow that I forgot about and what about when I bring a girl home? Whose going to interigate her senceless while I use the bathroom. Yeah. I knew about that.

Well there's another thing.

There won't be any more girls.

I don't know. Maybe you already knew. Or had a sence. I always kind of thought if anyone were to figure it out- it'd be you. You knew me too well. I mean, I couldn't keep anything from you with a three hour long interigation session (You must have really enjoyed pressuring people and making them uncomfortable.) I suppose that if you did know, the reason you never said anything was because you respected my privacy. For once.

I'm gay.

One hundred percent fucking gay.

I see that look in your eyes. The 'duh Greyson don't be an idiot I already knew that' look.

No one knows. And I wish you were here to help me. I know. Selfish of me.

But I do.

You sit me down on the stairs like we did as kids, and make me tell you everything. Every stupid detail of the 'Greyson's a Homosexual' show.

It started in eighth grade. Right after I made out with Monroe in the west girl's bathroom. God you were so mad about that. Well, I guess it really came around to bite me in the ass because that chick turned me gay.

Okay okay I'm sorry. I know you guys are best friends or whatever. You know was really fucked up? You were never mad at her for it. No. The next day you were over at her house playing in her pool with Calia.

So.

I just confessed my biggest secret.

Actually my only secret.

No I am not in love with Ricky.

I swear Kydie, I can read your mind sometimes. Ricky is fucking disgusting. Even if he is my best friend. He's gross dude.

There is this one guy I guess.

I almost don't want to write his name down cause I think you might raise from the ground and slap me.

Fuck.

Can't do it.

It feels wrong. To say I like a dude. But fuck this guy is hot as fuck.

I can hear you telling me to stop being a pussy.

Well you are what you eat.... Which no longer is a joke I can make.

So um. Mom and dad are all right. Same old same old. Right after the funeral, mom got really bad. She stayed in her room for a fucking week Ky. But she's... Better now.

Calia took it almost as hard as me I think. Poor kid. She stopped coming to school for about a month- same as I. Don't worry, I've been keeping an eye on her. Monroe has been too.

So I guess, all in all, everyone is okay. Okay ish maybe. But we're all still here.

Everyone except you Kydaline.

I can't write anymore now. I'm starting to sound pathetic. Soon though.

I miss you and love you eternally.

-Greyson Clausen