You just broke up with your boyfriend after 8 months.
At first it had been...interesting, but as time dragged on, you couldn't help but feel that the flame had died out. Just the thought of having to see and speak to him each day brought you a feeling of anxiety.
So you told him what you felt, alone.
You didn't see him for the rest of the day after that. You continued on with your life, a hint of guilt lingering in your gut.
Initially, you felt that a weight had been lifted off your shoulders but...
People started talking and questioning, and you felt as though you had made the wrong decision. People said told you that you had made him cry and kept asking you why you left him.
"Why did you break up?"
"Why did you dump him?"
"Why did you make him cry?"
You wanted them to leave you alone.
You began to question yourself after a while, feeling guilty for breaking someone's heart. You almost hated yourself.
You saw each other around the place your groups hang out, but didn't dare talk to each other. You avoided each other as best you could.
You pushed on and eventually the questions withered away. You weren't the hot topic for gossip anymore.
You were relieved to be out of the spotlight.
You were unsure for sometime, as your interest seemed to be focused on girls now.
You found out that one of your friends was bisexual and another pansexual.
You had to admit that you didn't know what that meant before a google search and a couple of conversations with them.
Then you had a thought.
"What if I am one of these?"
You thought about how you were unsure of which gender since people from both seemed attractive to you.
After an explanation from your friend, you simply doubted that you were pan.
But bi was still an option.
You took it on, slowly breaking the news to your close friends.
They didn't seem to have a problem with it.
You were hesitant to tell anyone else and so you kept quiet.
It was a few months before your eyes fell on someone else.
She was a girl from your maths class who you had grown quite fond of.
She was very friendly and had a great sense of humour that you enjoyed. You began to hang around with her at break and lunch times.
You found her pretty, with a beautiful smile and personality.
She joined your group.
You got her number.
You began texting each other after school.
You took the plunge before your history class.
You asked her if she had a crush on anyone.
She told you that she did but it wasn't someone you knew.
You felt your smile falter.
You had made it a habit of exchanging your notebook to talk to one another in that class, despite the fact that you sat in front of her.
You wrote her a note, admitting that she was your crush.
To your surprise, she answered saying that she liked you back.
Your spirits lifted and you felt a smile spread across your face.
Later that day, you were texting as normal when conversation turned roleplay in the style of your favourite video game.
She made a pun before telling you she wanted to ask a question. You told her that you were listening.
She asked you out.
You could barely contain your overflowing joy, squealing quietly to yourself as not to alert your parents. Tears of happiness pricked your eyes, as you texted back:
"Yes!!!"
It's been more than a month since that day.
You told your friends.
You told your parents.
You go for walks with her everyday, morning and afternoon.
You video chat her on Skype.
You exchanged gifts with each other.
You gave her a kiss.
She's away at the moment, unable to talk to you but you still talk to her. And if there is one thing you'd want to say more than anything else right now, it would be:
"I love you. Thank you for being my squish."
Happy Pride Month Everyone :3
phansexualAF
