Pride month

My Story

You and I both know that religious people and LGBTQ+ people never mix well.

Unluckily for me, I was born into a very strictly religious family.

And the side that wasn't religious, was still homophobic.

I guess that might have contributed to my low self esteem.

I was so sheltered from the world that until I was ten I had no idea that there was even a possibility of being anything other than what my family had taught me.

Straight, cis and religious was all I knew.

Boy was I wrong.

Around fifth grade I started to accept that I supported LGBTQ+ but I could never speak of it.

Then in sixth grade I started to realise that I probably wasn't straight.

Then I was trying to figure myself out.

I'm still trying to figure myself out.

My environment just makes it harder.

With my family's constant homophobia and my classmates ignorant outbursts I try not to figure myself out at times because I'm so terrified.

Constant misgendering, gay bashing, and oblivious slights have pretty much turned me to steel.

Some days I wish I was dead instead of the constant insults.

They don't realise.

Because I cant tell them.

One slip up and I'll find myself staring in the face of hate and homelessness.

Because there is no way anyone I know would accept me.

I know that I can't do anything.

I can't figure myself out but I can't live with myself if I don't know what I am.

I don't know.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know who I am.

I don't know anything.

What I do know?

I know that I can't let anyone see me.

Because if I do.

I'm a goner.

The hate and insults would get worse.

I can't stand it.

But I will.

Because I know.

That its all going to be okay.

It may take months.

It may take years.

It may take a lifetime.

But I know that on my last day on this god forsaken world.

I'll be okay.

Because it's gonna get better.

Someday.

-Cookie.