the conversation

"Shh! Just close your eyes" she whispered to me.

I did so. In the next moment, I felt her lips on my left cheek

I opened my eyes and smiled at her. Even in this complicated situation, she made me smile.

- "Now tell me daddy, what is it? Why are you so upset?"

- "Nothing sweetheart, it's nothing." I denied. But my face was telling a different story, which was very easy to read. Anybody could read it.

- "please daddy, tell me what is it? I cannot see you unhappy." she was such a stubborn child. And caring too.

- "whatever it is dear, you won't understand it. You are still a ten-year-old sweet kid. I wish I could tell you, but I am sorry, I can't" I politely denied her again.

- "yeah, you are right dad. I am only a ten-year-old girl. But I can't age ten more years overnight to be able to listen your problems. You have only this ten-year-old girl and you have to tell everything to this kid. Please dad!" she pleaded.

I hadn't expected this kind of maturity from my little daughter. But how could I tell her about the complexity of an adult's life? She wasn't even a teenager. I was afraid how she'll take it? How could I tell her that life never miss any single chance to let you down, when you grow up as an adult. So, I decided to stay quiet.

But she hadn't. and I had no options left but listen to her.

- "you know dad! I am noticing that you haven't been the same ever since mom was gone. You have changed. You have lost your smile, your ability to be happy"

- "Yes! You are right sweetie. I feel so lost after your mommy had gone. And all the other things have started going in the wrong direction after that. I have lost my control over them. I have no idea how to make'em right now." my eyes welled up. And I broke down in front of my daughter.

- "It's okay dad! It's okay!"

- "I am sorry. I should not cry in front of you." I said wiping my tears with fingers.

- "No daddy, there is nothing wrong in crying. Let go off your pain through tears. I also cry when I feel bad. I weep too much. But once I wept, my brain starts thinking more clearly. Also, I feel like a burden has unloaded from my heart. So, it's okay to cry." I couldn't believe this was my 10-year-old girl teaching me about life.

Her mom quoted me once that girls got mature earlier than boys. And now my daughter was proving her right (that fact).

Maybe she was right. Maybe life isn't that hard. We just stop thinking the way these kids do. We pretend to be strong, manipulate ourselves. But somewhere inside, we knew that we aren't that strong and it's perfectly okay to cry. It's completely okay to take a break from pretending to be strong and listen to our hearts.

- "But beta! You don't face those kinds of problems we face in life. They are too many and each one of them is a lot more complicated than the other. And we have to go through all of them."

Like suddenly life pulled my leg from behind and threw me hard to the ground of reality from the sky of possibilities. I was not a kid anymore. She was.

- "dad! Problems are problems. There is no easy kind. Maybe my problem seems easier to you. But just for once look at them from my eyes. All the problems are tough, I think, for a certain age. Maybe, after ten years from now you look back and realize that this problem was too easy but still you gave up." I was just looking at her cute little face and listening every word she was saying.

"now I don't know what your problems are or how to get over on them but I do know that my father is not a loser. All you need now is a small break and a self-talk. Things will get easy for sure, you'll see"

All my tensions and tears had already gone in that moment. I was only feeling so proud of having such a beautiful, sincere and mature kid as my daughter. AAYAT.

- "dad! I think you should talk to your elders about your problems. Maybe they have a way to tackle them."

- "Aww, my baby! I don't need anybody else, I have you. All my problems have been gone for good now" I replied her.

"but dad-" I placed a finger on her lips and stopped her.

- "Shh! Just close your eyes now" her eyes lighten with a big smile as I said that. Then she closed her eyes.

I kissed her forehead and hugged her. She hugged me back tightly.

I smiled and closed my eyes. And suddenly I felt like I am hugging her mom. I could smell her. She was somewhere inside Aayat. After all, Aayat was a part of her. I could see my beloved wife smiling for me. My Naznin.

-Neil