The Once Upon A Time Princess

The Once Upon a Time Soldier

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Joshua. He was the seventh son of a farmer. He was also the smallest, most clumsy boy anyone had ever seen.

He tried really hard to be like his father and his brothers but he never could do anything the way it was supposed to be done.

When he tried to fetch water, the water would completely spill out of the buckets before he reached the chicken coup or the house.

When he tried to feed the farm animals, they would knock him over. Usually, half of the feed would be lost on the ground.

When he tried to build things, he would get cut, scratched and bruised. When he was older and tried to plow the fields, his rows were very crooked.

On the farm, he wasn't very useful at all but because he was the seventh son, he wasn't going to inherit the farm anyway. Often, the first son inherited the farm. This was not to be for Joshua's oldest brother had taken a shine to the baker's daughter and she to him. Since she was an only child, the bakery would go to her and her husband when the baker retired.

The farm was going to go to the second son. The third son would stay on as a hired hand as it was a larger farm.

The fourth son was good with words and had very good eyes for close up work so he was studying at the temple to be a holy man or a scribe, just like his uncle.

The fifth had died when the plague had come. The sixth son had lived but his head had been affected. Yet, he was very strong and could still follow direction so his brothers would keep him on the farm or hire him out to other farms.

That left Joshua. His father knew that he was good with words because Joshua would pay attention at the temple and when the uncle came to visit. His uncle would tell stories from the holy books. He would also tell stories that he had heard from travellers and other wayfarers. Sometimes his uncle made up his own stories to help people understand things better. When Joshua had understood this, he started making up his own stories and telling them to the farm animals. He would have been a good scribe or holy man, however, the temple had all the apprentices that it needed.

So, when it was time, his father sent Joshua to boot camp to become a soldier.

Joshua was the worst soldier ever.

He was small so his marching was always out of step. He was clumsy so he could not wield any of the weapons properly. The other soldiers would smack him with the flat side of a sword to knock him over then laugh at him.

When he tried jousting, he bounced off the horse. The stirrups were too far down and when the horse galloped, he just flew off. The other soldiers just laughed.

At archery, he just wasn't tall enough to pull a long bow. He almost shot the other soldiers too many times, so the drill sergeant pulled him out.

He almost cut his finger off in the kitchen. He fell into a soon-to-be latrine and broke his arm.

The drill sergeant did not know what to do with him.

Yet, Joshua persisted.

It was during mess one night that the sergeant finally saw some potential in Joshua, for Joshua was telling stories, making the men laugh and encouraging understanding to settle differences. The sergeant decided to send Joshua out on patrol.

“Joshua, I am sending you out with six of my best men. They are very skilled in the fighting arts, but most of the time, fighting is not needed. You will be the first to speak with people as the other six can be intimidating. They will be behind you if you need them. Good luck, Runt.”