G O O D N I G H T

june 1, 2018

"granny"

i had this dream on the plane when we were on our way to visit georgia, tbilisi.

i woke up in a room. the room looked familiar. i realized that it looked like the room in granny's house (i play granny a lot ok). doing my usual routine when i play the game, i try to glitch granny. i opened all the cabinets and made a sound by dropping the vase and table. she came in the room but she wasn't attacking me and she wasn't holding a baseball bat.

"hey man. want a house tour?" granny said.

i shrugged, "sure!"

she then gave me a house tour (nothing weird, the house was like the one in the game) and when we finished, i invited her to play in the play house.

"ok," she said. "let me get my bat first" then, as she went out the window, a rat came to me and the rat told me to never trust granny.

i was so scared. i haven't got a better plan than to run to the sauna at the very bottom of the house. i got in the sauna, panting. i got in and sat in one of the benches.

"hey bestie! where you at? i have my bat!" said granny in a croak-y voice.

"no way! get the hell out! imma sue you and america!" i yelled. i pulled out a dragon fly out of my shirt pocket. the dragon fly was dead so i placed it beside me. "may your small ass rest in peace, you vegan."