ABC - After Brown Curls || h.s. [english] ✖on hold✖

C -charlie- [siː]

C -charlie- [siː]

✖ Chills. That's what he gives me. Being in the same room as he is, that's enough for it to show up. I don't really know where it comes from though. I can't put my finger on it. He just gets under my skin, sort of, I guess. Both in a positive as in a negative way. It's because of him I can't stop smiling. Only the thought of him warms my soul. And now, now he's gone. The happy feeling I once had is overshadowed by a heartbreaking feeling of loss. I desperately scan the room, searching for him.But I can't see him. I can't help it, I just need to be sure. Although I know he isn't here. And I know my unconsciousness would feel his presence if he was. All I feel is emptiness.

… Missing you, it has made my heart cold. You being gone, it's causing permanent chills. This time in a negative way. You took the positive chills with you. Your fingers tickling my skin, leaving goose bumps all over my body. I really loved that, but it's history. Me knowing that, it hurts.  …

✖✖ Curls. Soft as hell. He has a head full of them. Those brown jumpy curls I adore. They make him look boyish. I love the way those curls never look the same as they did the day before. It's not a measured hairstyle. Rather nonchalant. And that suites him. They match him perfectly. His curls jump however they want to. And so does he. He lives his life the way he wants to.

… I swallow. That picture of you and me hurts. Me putting a curl of you around my finger. Your eyes laughing at me. I miss the smell of your shampoo. I can't stand looking at that picture any longer. But at the same time I am not able to look away. Those curls represent you in so much more ways than anyone could imagine. You do whatever you want, like your curls. And you wanted to be away from me. So you did. And you took your curls with you. Leaving me with nothing at all. No curls. No you. …

✖✖✖ Cheeky. It describes him perfectly. But in a certain innocent way. The good girl I am, doesn't like badass boys. Not even close. But luckily for me he isn't one of them. But he is cheeky, even kinda naughty sometimes. I think that was the main reason why I fell for him. His innocent appearance with that rough edge around it. He looks like a saint, but he isn't. A saint has no naughty side. I love those moments when he doesn't act the way he looks. That contradiction attracts to me. Maybe 'cause I'm against predictability. I can't explain really, I just hate the way it makes your life boring. And he, he doesn't made my life boring at all.

… I miss your cheekiness. Just seeing that word, takes my mind back in time. I see you and your famous cheeky smile. I saw it countless times, and I couldn't get enough of it. Your cheeky smile clearly gives away what you're thinking about. It turns my cheeks into a deep red color. I'm ashamed. But still, I love it. Your green eyes have a frolic glow on the edge. It makes my stomach drop. No matter how many times I saw that smile, I can't seem to get immune to it. Oh boy, I would do anything to see that smile again. I would do anything so my stomach could drop once more. Because now I know I shouldn't take it for granted. Now I know, but it's too late. Your cheeky smile will never drop my stomach again. I'm praying it will though. …

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If you read this and you like it, please let me know. 'Cause I'm not sure of it :$ Thanks a lot :) Lots of love, Famke