The White Room

Part 3

Softly, his lips pressed against hers capturing her bottom lip with his. She tasted faintly of cherries, from the cakes they had been eating. He felt her breath hitch in her throat below him, as he kissed her softly. The kiss was magical. Absolutely nothing like kissing her while she was dead and lifeless in his arms, like no other kiss he had before. His hands wrapped around her exposed hips, his finger tips digging into her warm soft skin, she kissed him back as he had hoped. He lost himself in their kiss, unaware he was moving his hand gently to her face, cupping her chin and rubbing the pad of this thumb against her cheek, he moaned into her softly. Time stood still as their kiss persisted.

She pulled herself back from him slightly, moaning, 'Taemin,' mindlessly he lifted himself out of her, opening his eyes, high on the magic of their contact.

He looked down at her and panicked, she had tears in her eyes.

'I'm s-s-sorry,' he fumbled, confused as to why she was crying. 'I just – I'm – I –'he began trying to apologise over and over.

'No, no, I'm sorry,' her words caught in her throat as a tear escaped down the side of her cheek.

The panic in his mind had begun dancing in his stomach. Maybe he was wrong to have kissed her, in fact he was definitely wrong, he thought as logic crashed into his mind. He didn't know how he felt, it was an automatic reaction he should have controlled. He didn't want to hurt her or lose her before their friendship had even begun.

'No I shouldn't have,' he leaned backwards giving her space, awkwardly removing his other hand from her bare skin.

'No, I wanted to.' She told him, grabbing his arms from leaving her. His eyes met hers again, she seemed so small below him, she really was precious.

'You did?' He asked incredulously. His heart flipping in his ever-tightening chest.

She gave him a heart-breaking smile, 'Yeah, I did,' she spoke softly, as he continued to cradle her in the crook of his arm. 'I'm just, overwhelmed, I – I don't know.' She tried explaining with a heavy sigh. He looked deeply down at her, realising she really was terrified. Terrified of feeling, terrified of what she did feel. He guessed maybe she was as confused about her feelings towards him as he was about her.

'It's ok, I understand.' He whispered softly back, trying to make it ok.

She reached up and lightly stroked the side of his face with her thumb. Watching him with the same innocence and tenderness as a child finding something new for the very first time. It was endearing how she did that.

'I don't want to ru – I'm scared,' she mumbled, her green eyes so big he could feel himself getting lost in them. 'I don't want to lose you.' She added softly.

His chest tightened. 'I don't want to lose you too.' He admitted to her. It was the truth, he wasn't sure what his feelings where, if she was just a friend he needed, or if he wanted something more with her, either way, he didn't want to do anything to ruin it. 'I need you.' He told her sweetly.

She smiled up at him. 'I don't know why.' She confessed simply. 'I don't know if we are friends, if we are – if there is something else – you're - you could be with anyone else, I'm not – ' she was mumbling, he wasn't sure how he felt, but he wanted to protect her from the uncertainty she was feeling at that moment.

'I don't know too, what this is.' He said slowly, 'I'm also scared,' he touched her face lightly rubbing away the tears lingering there. 'I have all these feelings I can't work out, but we can just take it slowly?' He asked in conclusion, though it sounded like a question. Take what slowly though he wasn't sure.