Twisted lies

Chapter 2: Denial

Present

It had been a year since i found out about Jason. Things have been the same he was still coming home late, hiding his phone, changing the password on his phone all the time. I tried to hide that I was hurting, I tried to deny what was going on, I was trying to reassure myself this was all a misunderstanding, that I was just being paranoid, but I knew deep down what really was going on.

But I just can't leave him. I've been attached to him for the past six years, he's all I've ever known, the only person I've ever loved, and for me to say goodbye to someone who I've cared for and loved with my whole entire heart was one of the most painful things I could ever do. He's been my world, my life, how can I possibly go on if he's not by my side. I just can't I physically can't and even though my heart is broken, without him my heart will feel gone. So I carry on with my life. I pretend like I don't know anything, like we're a perfect strong couple, like he is still in love with me.

It was a Saturday evening, I decided I wanted to go out and have fun with my friends, let loose of all my stress and my worries. We decided we'd go to a night club in London called Soho. I went with my 5 best friends who I knew from work and school.

The club was absolutely packed. One of my friends boyfriends was a bouncer there so we got in straight away. As soon as we got in we got some drinks. After we'd talked around the bar we went to dance. I felt so free dancing and drinking with my friends having a stupidly fun time. It made me feel human again like I had nothing bad in my life just me being careless and happy enjoying life. And that's when I saw him. 

Jason was right in front of me kissing another girl. My heart dropped, the pain inside of me clenched like I'd been punched in the stomach. All the worries and fears I'd had for the past year was right there in front of me. The man i loved and cared about for the past 6 years was sticking his tongue down another girls throat. I wasn't in control of myself anymore. My body was taken over in distraught and pain. I couldn't stand it anymore, tears started pouring out. I ran as fast as I could to get away.

I collapsed on the pavement, tears non stopping falling. I knew there was something going on but seeing it right in front of me was the reality. What was wrong with me, why was he with other girls when he has me? Was I not good enough? Was I not enough anymore? Thoughts kept spiralling around my head pounding.

I ran home sobbing. As soon as I got in I slammed my head to my pillow and started screaming. All the anger the pain the confusion I'd felt for the past year was coming out. Everything he'd told me this year was a lie. He had been lying to me nonstop getting out of control. The realisation hit me.

Once I'd calmed down I thought properly. I had so many unanswered questions that I needed to ask him. But what I needed to ask myself was could I really leave him. I don't know if I can. I knew he was doing something behind my back but I still didn't leave him, I'm blinded by his love. I feel like I'm attached to him. I'm still so in love with him even though he's put me through this. I don't know what to do I'm stuck like I'm under his spell. I'm trapped and I can't get out.

I heard the key turn in the door, it was time to face him. What do I say to him? What do I ask him?
Jason saw me in the sitting room and smiled
"Hey baby you ok? What you still doing up?"
I tried to not swoon over that smile that gorgeous trancing smile. I finally replied...

A/N: Oof how bout that cliffhanger though... this is my first story so if you have anything you think needs improvements or suggestions please post it on my conversations thank youu.