Imago

Chapter VI

Over the next week and a bit of school I see Isaac at the start of nearly every class. Either fleetingly as we walk past with friends, or he's pulling me away to a quiet corner of the library or a broom closet to kiss me like crazy and tell me how hot I look. When he drops me off at home we spend the afternoon making out and talking about our favourite things, or the letters we've written each other.

Who's Michelle? I write in one of my notes.

A complication. One of many. Is his reply.

This last note confirms what I've known from day one; whatever is going on between Isaac and myself is to remain just that, between he and I. It's not something we've ever talked about. It's just a mutual understanding that there are many reasons we shouldn't be together. None of which are enough to stop us. And though, I'm certain that Izzy knows something is going on, she's not saying anything either.

"I'm not seeing her anymore. She was older than me and left school last year. It didn't end on good terms. Actually, it was really fucking messy. Her little sister still goes to Hillford and the last thing I need is her reporting back to Michelle. It's drama that I don't want. I don't want her to ruin this."

We've just finished another make out session on my couch. He's laying between my legs, holding his weight off as much as possible. I love the way he's drinking me in right now and the way his voice just dipped when he said "this." Obviously meaning us.

I pull him down for a kiss, letting him know with actions more than words, that I'm okay with that answer. So long as we can keep doing what we're doing, I'm happy.

At lunch on Friday Izzy tells me excitedly that her grounding ends tomorrow and it just so happens that the boys are playing a gig at a massive birthday party in the rural suburb of Brushwick. Apparently, I have to go and I must sleep over at her place.

Donna also wants me to go to the party and to stay at her place. Her face drops a little when I tell her that Izzy already invited me around to hers and that I said yes. She did half-jokingly suggest that I go back and say no to Izzy, before admitting defeat and telling me that at least she'll see me at the party and maybe she'll see if she can stay at Izzy's too. A horrible, selfish part of me hopes she ends up sleeping at Chris's house instead.

Friday afternoon's make-out session with Isaac is sporadic. We seem to be doing more talking and listening to Isaac's discman, than we do kissing.

Isaac's a die-hard Guns N Roses fan, while I'm more a Metallica and AC/DC girl myself. I listen with one ear plug in one of my ears while also listening to him sing the words to G'N'R's 'Patience.'

I wonder momentarily if he's thinking about his ex, but my worries are laid to rest when he leans over and nibbles on my ear during the chorus.

On Saturday, Izzy arrives at my house to pick me up and help me fool my mum by talking about our innocent 'girly' sleep over. She tells a whole lot of half-truths, like how we're going to listen to music and play around with make-up. She helps me pack my bag and gives my mum their home number, telling her that if no one answers it's probably just because we're sitting in the backyard. I feel a huge sense of relief when mum says she'll see me tomorrow and to have a good time. She's not suspicious at all.

Back at Izzy's I find out that she's only allowed to go to the party because Isaac has also been invited, and he's driving. I feel a mixture of nervousness and excitement at both the fact that he's coming and that this is my first major party.

While getting dressed, Izzy gets me up to speed with her and Jed. Apparently, she now has eyes for someone else and she's not sure how to break up with him. I explain that being straight up is what worked for me and that he was too stoned to even care. I encourage her to not think about it and just do it. She agrees, and then helps me with my make-up. When she's finished, we admire ourselves in her full-length mirror; her in her black jeans, Metallica shirt and ankle boots, me in my blue jeans, black tank top and Doc Martins.