The Beast Within Me

There is a beast living somewhere deep within me.

A beast who is already hungry for its next meal.

A beast who I have tried so hard to tame,

tried so hard to keep him full,

So hard to keep him occupied.

But to no end what so ever.

At first my innocence, my immaculateness, my childish mind didn't even know he existed, or was found within me.

But as years eroded the walls of innocence that surrounded me, I realized that I wasn't the only one living inside of this body.

Wasn't the only one who hold the heart, the soul that I thought belonged to only me.

In the beginning, he would jolt me awake at night with its roaring voice, would strangle me with his immense paws, would scratch me from the inside out and outside in.

So I found a way to at least distance myself from him, distracting him by refreshments, a little for every single time he would gain consciousness within me.

I kept track of how much I have to feed him every time, but somewhere along the line I lost track, and fed him a little more than I should've.

That's when things got out of hand.

He demanded more, and I have to give him more, reassuring myself that hopefully he would leave me alone, after just a little more.

Somewhere between today and tomorrow, I realized that if the beast within me is still hungry for more...

He could never be full no matter what, or how much more.

Because the sins that I have committed since I got painfully aware of his presence, he should've been in the state of throwing up at any moment, but when he didn't and demanded for more...

I was slapped across the face by the reality of it all.

This info hit me a little too late...

I was a little too late to save myself from him.

A little too late to keep him at bay.

He grew inside of me, and he grew big.

A lot big.

And in the end, he finally won over me.

My body, my soul, my heart was all his now.

And he did what he intended to do with it all along.

He walked right over it.

Leaving in its wake;

The battered pieces of a little bit of my unblemished body,

The shredded pieces of a little bit of my hopeful heart,

The broken shield of a little bit of my pure soul,

And the crumbled bits of an only chance at my little bit of heaven.

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Asalam O Alikum,

Soooo...

What do you think?

How do you connect with this poem? (think about it)

What do you understand this poem is trying to convey?

Did you like it or not?

Please tell me your thoughts about the poem in the comments.. I will try my best to respond.. and maybe even share some in the next chapter..

Have a great day..

Take Care.. :)