It's all in my head

06-06-2018

We always want the things we can't have.

In a perfect world the girl gets the one she loves, they get married and lives a perfect life.

In the real world we have to face struggles and hardships that most people will never understand. We are judged on how we look, act, and who we love. Why? I'll never really understand...

We can't go out without meeting someone we don't know, wouldn't it be nice to know what they think? What they see when they look at us? Where they were going and why? But these things we'll never know.

Instead we are constantly left wondering...

There are so many unanswered questions and so many things we want to say but don't have the courage to say.

What do we really look like? We've never truly seen ourselves, only a mirror image or a picture we'll never see ourselves. how do others see us?you might think you look okay in the mirror but is the you someone else sees the same you that you see?

We always think we don't look good or we are too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short but are they really or views or are they views we've been subconsciously told to think?

These tabloids with the 'perfect' models lining their pages, a glossy and shiny version of life, one many of us will never experience, why is this? Because it's all fake, almost like a barbie world. It's for our entertainment and our pleasure, the people in those pictures and living that life probably aren't happy with how things are.
Imagine being a kardashian or a Jenner for example, you're whole life is on TV and if your life isn't interesting enough the programme stops and the channel goes to find a family more interesting and more willing to create a drama to increase views.
'Kylie Jenner's baby is secretly her bodyguards child'
'Kim Kardashian could die if she has another child'
These stories are made very public and almost too in depth, can't Kylie and travis be left alone by the press and just be happy with their baby? Could it be possible for Kim to just find an alternative and keep it quiet?
Probably not but the media has made it this way.

The sugar coated glossy media world is telling us how to live our lives and hiding the consequences.
But hey, it would make for a great gossip column story wouldn't it? so who really cares?

The truth is nearly always hidden from us, why? We want honesty and we want answers but we seldom get them.

Everyone lies.

Say you're an honest person all you like but I can guarantee you have lied before and will probably lie again, if you're saying you've never told a lie you're lying to not only me but also yourself.
"It's for the best" we tell ourselves but is it really?

The ones we love are the ones dearest to us and the ones who sometimes hurt us the most.
They say they want to protect us or that they did something because the love us but doesn't that sometimes hurt us more than letting us learn from our own mistakes and fighting our own battles?

"I didn't tell you because I thought it would upset you"

So instead of being honest and telling us what had happened they decided to keep it to themselves and wait for us to find out, days sometimes weeks after it happened.
Time heals so why not tell someone straight away and let them sort it? Why make them wait and make them look like a fool?

I suppose it's better to be spoken about than to be forgotten but sometimes it would be nice to know exactly why your name is in someone's mouth, wouldn't it?

I don't really know why I'm writing this but sometimes things need to be said and I don't know how else to say them. Writing things down has always helped me in the past so let's hope what I say and think in here makes sense and helps you too.
Amelia ocean isn't my real name it's like a cover, so nobody knows who I really am and I can speak freely and not get judged for what I think.
I wish I could use my real name and have people who accept my views and support me with them but I know and I've learnt, that there's always negativity that comes with positivity so sometimes it's better to stay anonymous. So that's what I'll do, I'll stay anonymous for now anyway.

Sometimes these chapters won't be very long but sometimes they might go on a bit maybe a 100 or so words, maybe a few hundred words, sometimes I might repeat what I write but it's just what's in my mind, almost like those shower thoughts pages on Instagram but here it's my thoughts I'm sharing.

I don't mean to offend anyone or upset anyone, I just want to know your thoughts on what I say.
Comment or message me and let me know what you're thinking, maybe send me topics and I'll share my opinions on them.

I think that's all I can say at the moment but I'm sure there'll be more stuff soon.

- AO xx