So about a year ago (back in the days everyone was obsessed with Twilight), me and my best friend were bored and decided to write a (very stupid) play taking place after Breaking Dawn. It's solely for enjoyment purposes; my writing really isn't that bad and weird haha. My bestie who wrote it with me is on Wattpad to and her username is 6Kaitie6Ka6 if you wanted to know.
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Life After Breaking Dawn:
The Epic Tale of Jacob and Renesmee
Characters:
Jacob Black
Renesmee Cullen
Ernie the Keebler Cookie Elf
Ulrika the Unicorn
Worker
Setting:
Four months after Breaking Dawn
Forks, Washington
Plot:
A long time ago in a town far, far away . . . Four months after Breaking Dawn ended, two beings emerged in an exceptionally complicated relationship. For those unfamiliar with the Twilight series . . . GO READ IT! Renesmee, daughter of Edward and Bella Cullen, is looking for a more intense relationship, which Jacob, leader of the La Push werewolf tribe, is unable to offer. She leaves him for a more experienced "man." Trying to win back her heart through jealous means, Jacob finds another "woman." In a series of misunderstood events, Renesmee and Jacob find their way back to each other for better or for worse . . .
Script:
Scene I
R: You're impossible Jacob Black! (Stomps foot) I can't stand to be around you for another moment. I've found someone else!
J: Well. . . so have I!
(Door Slams)
Scene II
Depressed, Jacob walks to a pond where he sees a unicorn drinking. He hops onto her back hoping to ride off into the sunset and never be seen again, when suddenly he hears a. . .
U: Ooh lala
J: Ahhhhh! You're a talking unicorn!
U: Yes I am. My name is Ulrika, meaning ruler of wolves.
J: How ironic.
U: Do you want to make out?
J: Sure. Happy for the distraction from his pain. I'd love to.
In the excitement of the kiss, Jacob changes into his werewolf state.
J: Howls
U: Finally! A man who is deep in touch with his inner animal. I love you!
J: Woot Woot
Renesmee, walking with her "man," stumbles upon Jacob and Ulrika. Jacob looks up to see her holding hands with none other than the Keebler Cookie Elf, and burst out laughing.
J: Sup?
(Keebler Cookie Elf burst into song)
E: Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day, I've got a wonderful feeling. . .
R: Oh, Ernie. Why don't you show me your ENORMOUS factory, that you are so FAMOUS for, and get away from these uncivilized animals.
E: Of course darling.
(Leaves humming "Oh What a Beautiful Morning")
J: Good riddance.
U: Oh well, let's make out some more.
After some interesting events. . .
J: Cough, cough. . .BLAH!
(Projectile comes out of his mouth, and down Ulrika's throat. She gags)
J: Sorry, hairball.
(Ulrika falls to the ground, and does not get back up.)
J: Oh no (One tear) Oh well, might as well not waste a good meal!
Scene III
Meanwhile, Renesmee and Ernie have just arrived at the Keebler Tree factory.
R: This is such a wonderful factory, ErnBern. All your workers are so cooperative and friendly.
Worker: (Bows) Reporting for duty sir! Smacks his head, causing blood to spill.
R: Yum! Running after him she accidentally pushes Ernie off the side. . .and onto a cookie sheet just about to enter the oven. The door shuts. Ernie was never seen again.
Scene IV
(Jacob and Renesmee enter opposite sides of a clearing. Stop in front of each other.)
J: Sup?
R: He's gone, all because of me.
J: Oh it wasn't your fault. . .what happened?
R: I tried to eat his worker and pushed him into a passing cookie sheet entering the oven. And then. . . the door shut.
J: Oh well, maybe it is your fault.
R: What about you?
J: Well see there was a hairball, and her breathing just. . .stopped.
R: What's that on your face? Is that blood?
J: Er, well. . .couldn't let a good meal go to waste!
R: Oh I love you!
J: I love you too!
R: Trying to kill each other is just part of our animal nature
J: Wait, when did you try to kill me?
R: Er, uh. . .never mind. Keebler Cookie? "Everything's going my way." (From the cookie)
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By the way, Ernie is singing the song Oh What a Beautiful Morning from the movie Oklahoma . . . I think. That's what the last line is about 'cause it's the last line of the song . . . got it? Maybe? Don't really care?
