Dear Mackenzie

Dear Mackenzie,

I can't believe I'm doing this. It's kind of awkward, you know, writing to a dead girl. But, it's the least I can do, since I'm the reason you're dead. Well, at least that's what my guidance counselor told me.

After your sister called me out at the dance concert, I had a breakdown. My parents are so concerned that they're forcing me to see this weird lady named Ms. Langston. Apparently she's "the best counselor around". At least that's what it says on her bus bench ad.

Every counseling session starts off with the same five words.

"How are you feeling today?"

And I always reply with the same one word answer.

"Okay."

But not today. Instead of going through our awkward routine as usual, she got right to the point as soon as I stepped inside.

"Here's a pen and paper. Sit down at the table and write to Mackenzie."

"What?"

"Sit. Write. Now."

"I don't want to."

"I don't care."

"Is there a point to this?"

"Don't question me!"

At this point, she started staring me down with her beady little snake eyes, so I decided the best thing to do is shut up and write.

So, here goes nothing.

Mackenzie. You were pretty, talented, smart and so much more. And I'm sorry that I made you feel like you weren't. I'm sorry for all the things I did to you. I'm sorry you're dead. I'm sorry I'm alive. I'm the one who should be dead. Not you.

After your death, everything fell apart. You thought the kids at school didn't notice you... they did. Almost nobody came to school the day after your death. Maddie is a wreck. She hasn't come to school or dance in weeks. Nick is the only one who can persuade her to come out of her room, and even that's only for a few minutes.

Life at the ALDC is awful now. At least, that's what I've heard. I'm not allowed back in the studio anymore. Apparently Abby has a strict no bullying policy, which is kinda hypocritical because she's the biggest bully in Pittsburgh. But I'm not here to complain about Abby.

Apparently Melissa is handling her grief by throwing herself into her work. After losing her youngest daughter... she just snapped. I guess work is the only thing that can calm her down.

Oh... wait... I didn't tell you about David, did I? After Maddie read all of your letters, she got super angry and said she refused to live in the same house with him. After a long, hard debate with Melissa, he finally packed up and drove off to who knows where.

And Andrew... oh god. You know how he used to be the popular, funny, talkative guy? Now he sits in the back of the class and won't talk to anybody.

It's awful.

And it's all because of me.

I'm sorry. I am so sorry.

I wish I could make this right. But I can't.

Mackenzie Frances Ziegler, will you accept my apology?

Sincerely, Tayte