Beyond the Music

habits (stay high) // tove lo

Uh-uh uh-uh uh-uh

I eat my dinner in my bathtub

Then I go to sex clubs

Watching freaky people getting it on

It doesn't make me nervous

If anything I'm restless

Yeah I've been around and I've seen it all

I get home, I got the munchies

Binge on all my Twinkies

Throw up in the tub, then I go to sleep

And I drank up all my money

Tasted kind of lonely

You're gone and I got to stay high

All the time to keep you off my mind, ooh ooh

High all the time to keep you off my mind, ooh ooh

Spend my days locked in a haze

Trying to forget you babe, I fall back down

Gotta stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you

Pick up daddies at the playground

How I spend my day time

Loosen up the frown, make them feel alive

I make it fast and greasy

I know my way too easy

You're gone and I got to stay high

All the time to keep you off my mind, ooh ooh

High all the time to keep you off my mind, ooh ooh

Spend my days locked in a haze,

Tryin' to forget you babe, I fall back down

Got to stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you

Staying in my play pretend

Where the fun ain't got no end

Oh, can't go home alone again

Need someone to numb the pain

Oh, staying in my play pretend

Where the fun ain't got no end

Oh oh can't go home alone again

Need someone to numb the pain

You're gone and I got to stay high

All the time to keep you off my mind, ooh ooh

High all the time to keep you off my mind, ooh ooh

Spend my days locked in a haze

Tryin' to forget you babe, I fall back down

Got to stay high all my life to forget I'm missing you

_____________________________________________________________________________

My image contorts in my grimy compact, plastic rhinestones reflecting the fluorescent light of this strip club's bathroom. 

This gold I cover my life with, has me hallucinating between what glitters, and what merely shines back dull light. 

If I don't drink

If I don't binge 

If I don't move

I'll have time to think - I always end up thinking about you.

You lurk in my thoughts and dreams, you taunt me day and night. 

To silence your voice, I have to stay high.

I can't handle it anymore.

The constant thrust of your hips and your throaty moans, I see them when I'm with someone else. 

Alcohol and drugs - all kinds - they spin my mind until I forget my name and spin my stomach until I forget I've eaten. 

You've taken everything from me! 

My sleep, my memories, my peace of mind! 

I crave your touch, the fit of your hand against my thighs... 

I crave your sturdy smiles, keeping me grounded. 

When I felt I had gone too deep you were the one who managed to stop the bleeding. 

I never used to be the girl with the booze, the girl with the loose legs.

Sex

Shot

Sex

Shot

Sex

Shot

Repeat.

The money I spend is the drink I drown in. 

The drink I drown in is the strangers who spread me open. 

I feel ... dead. 

Thing is, you didn't kill me - but you lead to me killing myself. 

You're gone and I gotta stay high 

All the time 

To keep you off my mind.

High 

All my life

To forget I'm missing you.