Matthew stared at himself in the mirror, feeling nothing but pure disgust. How could anyone love someone like him? How could anyone stand to be around him? He stared at his blue eyes, completely bloodshot, whether that was from the tears that had finally leaked out or the cannabis he had previously been smoking.
He sighed and ran his fingers through his brown hair. He was so disappointed in himself for crying, but he was grateful it was when he was alone. If someone actually saw him cry, he wasn't sure what he'd do. It wasn't usual that he'd cry, only when he thought about the past.
He visualized it perfectly, it was like watching a movie. The blood and the screams and the sirens, and just like that he was crying again.
"Damn it," he pulled his hair and groaned. This was hell.
Ella looked down at the water at her feet. Chills were sent up and down her spine, but she didn't care. She was in pure bliss, feeling so ontop of the world. No one around her to pester her, no one around at all. She stared at the gray sky, and then back down at the water. This was paradise.
She was about to sit in the wet sand when she heard footsteps. She turned around and saw a boy. He looked helpless and alone, maybe a bit angry too. She could see it in the way he walked. He had on a gray hoodie, the color seeming to match the sky, hood pulled up to shield his face. His hands were dug deeply into his pockets. She could hear his dull sighs from where she was standing, which as he walked further and further, was not very far away.
She had a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. Before she could stop herself, she took a step towards him. "Hey!" He came to a stop, but didn't look at her, "Hey, are you alright?" She yelled to him.
He looked back at her, "I'm fine." Ella could see his blank, but handsome, face now. His dark brown hair was extremely messy, his blue eyes red and swollen. His posture also said a lot, his back was bent, like he was slouching. Had he been standing straight up, Ella knew he'd be very tall.
Ella began walking towards him very slowly. "Are you sure? You don't seem-"
"I'm fine, okay?! Why are people always trying to get into my shit, huh?! Mind your own damn business!" His fists were balled and he was breathing quite heavily under the sweatshirt. "There is nothing wrong with me," he said quietly.
Matthew looked over the girl in front of him. Her hair was in a messy blonde braid, and she looked rather cold. She also looked worried, genuinely worried for him... That's impossible. No one gives two fucks about you, Matthew. He grunted at his own thoughts and started rubbing his eyes. His head hurt so damn bad, the pounding was unbearable.
"Look, I'm sorry... I'm only trying to help. You seem... Distressed, if that's the right word for it." She became very quiet, Matthew realized that he had probably frightened the poor girl. He knew that she was only trying to help, but he wasn't sure if he wanted someone's help. He wanted to be alone, he didn't want to drag others into the hell hole he called his life.
"I'm not feeling very well, that's all." His lie was flawless, but he wasn't so sure that she bought it. Even if she didn't believe him, she went along with it, nodding in understanding.
"You can sit down with me," she suggested. Before she even finished the sentence, Matthew was shaking his head.
"No, that's alright. I just want to be left alone right now," he was being honest. Being around people pissed him off, and this girl seemed nice enough, he didn't want to get mad at her again. Another reason why Matthew disliked himself, his uncontrollable temper. It resembled a ticking bomb, it was dangerous and explosive.
"C'mon, it'll be fun. My name's Ella, by the way."
"Matthew."
He sat a safe distance away from her, not wanting to be too close. He wasn't sure why, but he felt like he could trust this Ella in some way, and that was not good. Trusting people led to deceit, and Matthew didn't need anything else on his full plate of shit.
He was kind of shocked by the fact that Ella wasn't talking. She had seemed somewhat talkative earlier, and now it was dead silent. Nothing but the sound of waves crashing against the shore. He glanced over at her and saw that she had her head tilted back, her eyes closed, and a small smile on her lips.
She opened her eyes, and looked back at him. He tried to transition his gaze back to the ocean before she had noticed his staring, but he failed. She only giggled and nudged his shoulder.
He felt warm around her, and he wasn't sure why. This stupid girl was really messing with him. He knew how those cliché movies went, and this was definitely not one of them. The feeling only made him scoot futher away.
"So, are you going to tell me why you were freaking out earlier? I know you aren't sick." Matthew sighed and covered his face. This girl was smart, she was risky to be around. Matthew felt more comfortable around the mindless peers at school, too stupid to suspect anything.
"No, I'm not going to tell you, because like I said: it's none of your damn business." He snapped at her, she turned her head the other way. He winced at how aggressive he had become. A simple 'no' would have sufficed, but no, he had to be a dick. "Look, sorry, but I don't like when people ask me personal stuff."
"I understand, I understand... Sometimes it's good to get that stuff out though. I'm sorry for pressing."
Matthew walked through the front door, he could smell the alcohol. The house seemed to constantly be drenched in it. The smell sickened him and only made his headache that much worse. He knew his dad was home, he could hear the screaming of the television and the sound of snores coming from the living room. He didn't even bother trying to wake him up.
Matthew ascended the stairs and noticed that his sister was also home, this was almost as rare as his dad being home. He did love his sister, she was one of the very few people to see the true him, however she was never around. Matthew didn't tell her that he disliked the fact he never got to talk to her anymore, instead he would tell her to be careful when she left.
He would pretend he wasn't bothered.
That was the way of Matthew Keller.
---------------------------------------------------
Tell me if you liked it? This will be a new story that I truly, truly, truly believe I will update frequently. I'm liking it so far, and I hope you did too :D
Vote if you enjoyed? c:
YOU ARE READING
Afraid
Teen Fiction"I want the old you back." "That's nothing new, everyone does." ~ Matthew is far from emotional, at least on the outside. So when he meets Ella, who seems to be his only weakness, he has no clue how to react.
