Dear Lavender

Prologue

Dear Lavender,

        I'll skip introductions because you already know who I am. Well, maybe you don't, but you should.

        I miss you. When you left it's like the ground under my feet crumbled and gave away, and I got dragged down with it into a deep, dark hole, trying to claw my way back up again unsuccessfully.

        I wish you'd come back. I'm still searching for you, looking for you, but it's like you disappeared right after Dylan died. And I need you now more than ever, because I don't want to lose you, too.

        Sometimes I get scared that I'm forgetting about him.

        Dylan's egotistical and self-centered ways; the way he would captivate you and steal your breath with one glance in your direction. The way that he made you feel like the only person in the room, and he'd give you his full attention. His annoying tendencies and habits, his intimidatingly charismatic and persuasive ways. And the times he would light a cigarette but wouldn't let you even touch one.

        When he died it was like all the life was sucked out of me. And you were just... gone.

        Dylan was such a big part of everything. He was the glue that held the world together. The one person you took for granted, who was ever-present.

        Now he's gone.

        His image is like a wispy memory, a dream, on the tip of your tongue, yet irretrievable. I blame it on his abhorrence of pictures and lack of any sentiment at all.

        I could just barely picture his black hair and his icy blue eyes. The way he towered over me. And his scar on his jaw, the tiny imperfection that made Dylan... Dylan. It's all fading, already becoming blurry.

        I'm starting to forget those little things.

        And it scares the hell out of me.