Always - A Joshaya Story

Panic

"Grandma! Grandpa!" Auggie screamed as he flung himself into his grandparents arms.
"Auggie! How's our favorite grandson?"Alan Matthews asked his grandson.
"I'm good! How's my favorite old man?" Amy gasped as I burst into a fit of laughter.
"Sorry about that." Riley apologized for Auggie and I.
"Oh it's quite alright. How you are you two doing?" Amy asked as she pulled us in for a hug.
"We're doing great!" Riley answered for the both of us.
"Cory keep these kids close. They're a good bunch." Alan commented.
"As close as you keep me?"
My heartbeat sped up. I would recognize that voice anywhere. I kept my eyes glued to the floor and took a deep breath to calm myself before looking up into his dark blue eyes. I blushed as I realized he was already staring at me. We got lost in each other's matching blue eyes. Josh quickly snapped out of our gaze as Cory enveloped him in a hug yelling "my brotha!"
"My brotha!" Josh yelled back, returning the hug.
"Topanga, glad to see you're following my recipe again." Amy commented.
" Of course." Topanga replied, plastering on a smile.
Everyone headed back to the couch and to begin catching up on each other's lives. As I turned to join them Josh took hold of my upper arm. I felt a bolt of electricity shoot through my arm. My skin tingled after he removed his hand.
"Maya wait." He said softly. I turned around slowly and looked up at him.
"How is it possible you become more gorgeous every time I see you?" I looked down at my feet, not wanting him to see me blushing deeply. "Um, how are you?" He asked, rubbing the back of his neck, obviously nervous.
"I'm doing great! How's college?" I said confidently, giving him a genuine smile.
"It's pretty good. I'm finally learning to live off of ramen noodles and coffee. Oh and I wanted to tell you something.." He trailed off.
"What is it boing?" I replied expectantly.
"About that long game thing..." He was interrupted by a beautiful brunette girl walking in the door.
"Hey." She looked at Josh. "Sorry I'm late, I hope I didn't miss too much."
"Don't worry about it." Josh replied, intertwining his fingers with hers and bringing her to his side, right in front of where i was standing. This girl was taller than me, slim, and way prettier than I was.
Screw it. My mind screamed. Who was I kidding, of course Josh would go for a girl who wasn't just a plain, ugly, short stack of pancakes. I didn't want to stay here, pretending to be oblivious to Josh and the girl who I am assuming is his girlfriend. Without a second thought, I dashed through the living room and up the stairs to the bathroom. From behind me I hear Josh say "This is my girlfriend, Samantha."
Then Topanga said " I'm so glad you could make it! Josh has told us a lot about you!"
They knew about her. They all knew. Even Riley. Why didn't anyone tell me? Did they think I was weak? Did they think I couldn't handle knowing Josh quit the long game?

I slid down the wall as tears slipped off my cheeks. "I knew I wasn't good enough. I knew he would quit the long game the first chance he got for someone truly beautiful." I whispered as my body shook uncontrollably as I hugged my knees to my chest and quietly sobbed into them. My breathing grew rapid and I looked up in panic as the lights started to go dim. I panicked as I rocked back and forth, my head tucked into my knees. My anxiety took a hold of me in a death grip.