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No one should have to hide who they are, but there are cases where coming out compromises a person's safety or happiness.
If you think you aren't in a safe environment to come out (homophobia, anti-gay laws in your country, etc) or you don't want to come out for whatever reason, then you don't have to!
But if you do want to come out here are some tips when you decide to do it.
1. Practice saying it to yourself to get the hang of it.
When I first realised I was bisexual, it took me a long time for me to even say 'I'm bisexual' to the person I was coming out to and even to myself.
Coming to terms with your sexuality can take different amounts of time depending on the person. Preparing what you say when you come out can really help you feel in control of the situation, but again, coming out is different for each person.
Another thing to try is saying who you are in different ways, for example: 'I'm gay' becomes 'I like (same gender as you are), 'I'm bisexual' becomes 'I like boys and girls / men and women'.
2. Come out to a person you trust.
Whoever you trust whether it be your mother, father, uncle, aunt, brother, sister, grandma, grandpa, best friend or a teacher, make sure it's someone who will accept you or learn to accept you. Make sure they are aware that they can't tell people about your sexuality/gender without your permission. Telling someone takes a huge weight off your shoulders, trust me.
3. Ease the person into the idea of you being LGBTQ+.
Talk about LGBTQ+ culture and see how they react. Bring up characters or shows that are LGBTQ+ or related to it. This can make them be less shocked (if you think they will be) and doing this is kind of like teaching a baby to walk. They won't just get up out of the crib and run around everywhere. They start to roll around, then they crawl, then they put one foot after another and they're not Usain Bolt but they get better everyday.
4. Have a back up plan.
If the person you come out to reacts negatively, especially if they are your parents/care givers, be ready for it.
As bad as it sounds, be prepared to say: 'just kidding!' or play it off as a joke. Your safety should come first. If your parents/ care givers are ready to kick you out, be sure that you have some where to stay, a good friend's house or a relative you can trust.
Be aware though that some friendships aren't meant to last. If your friend you come out to isn't accepting of you and/or is against you being LGBTQ+, then they aren't worth your time. Don't stay in the closet because you don't want to lose a friendship. If they are your real friends they'll accept you for who you are.
5. Do what works for you.
There is never one way to come out. If you feel more comfortable coming out over text or not face to face then you do that. Come out to your friends and family in whatever order works for you.
Coming out should be about embracing yourself and feeling good with who you are: you can't do that if you aren't comfortable when you came out.
6. It will get easier.
Even once you are out, you will still be coming out to new people. Each time you come out to someone it will eventually get easier. The world is evolving and becoming more accepting then it used to be. You will be alright.
Always remember to stay safe, be happy and be true to who you are.
Message this account or pm me at barbiesnox if you have questions or want to share something!
Take to the comments if you have any tips or experiences you want to share!
— alix
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