Loneliness

Do you just ever feel so lonely that even at times when you aren't lonely you still do...? Or you have these millions of thoughts hatching inside your head taking you somewhere where you don't wanna go to...?
Well that is something I have been experiencing lately, no, I am not a lonely person or it's not that I have no social life, but acknowledging the fact about the people by whom I'm surrounded by is one of the reasons which makes me feel that way. I have a lot of questions popping up, but I know that asking them is useless just like solving math problems cux I know that at the end I'll get an incorrect answer or maybe no answer at all... it's true that at the end nothing stays, nothing lasts forever and if you think that things do last forever then you're wrong. Ain't nobody cares, I always asked this question to myself that why don't people whom I adore and admire so much don't care about me like I care about them? Why do they act like I mean nothing to them when they know it kills me when they do that, why do they pretend like I ain't worth thinking about?
The most saddest part of all is that I've been cheating on myself by telling myself lies, consoling myself with lies, dragging myself into hardships and telling myself to get attached to fake faces when I know their real faces, theirs intentions, forcing myself to expect too much when I know that the path of expectations that I'm choosing will lead to destruction , would shatter me into millions of broken pieces, but I still do :'))
Its ironic how people wear masks to hide their souls, the makeup of fake smiles worn by the broken souls, the makeup of fake loyalty and honesty worn by the jealous snakes who are always ready to back stab..I wear that makeup myself, but I get frustrated, I want something real, something which is not fake, a place where I can freely be me without any thought of hesitation, with no makeup on, no masks on, but no such place exits in a world where I live...everything that exists is temporary. Things may come and things may go, some go fast and some go slow, but one of the few things that last long which I know is friendship which carries on to the ages. I get a feeling deep inside my heart sometimes..don't know when the tears will stop or start & it's true that when you're feeling down, time passes slowly! I miss what's gone hence I feel so lonely.
There's a million pictures in my mind, but now they are just memorys of another time..I believe time heal all wounds, good, bad, sad, happy days all are of the life.
There are many hidden bruises and scars on my body inside and out which none has seen...they're a sign which appeases me when I see them because they show how strong I am and how I didn't let myself give up no matter how hard or badly I was wounded or how badly I was suffering. Every time I see them they give me courage to be more face more and to be more daring.