"Sophia, if you stop then I'll stop. Please, never again." My best friend holds my hand, begging me to stop.
I look down in shame, "I'm sorry James. I really am. I can't help it." I'm nearly in tears. I look at him and hug him tight. He hugs me back but pulls away too soon.
"For me Sophia. I hate to see you doing this to yourself. I love you, you're my best friend. I don't want you to leave me." I nod and kiss his cheek.
"Ok, but you have to stop too. I'm only doing this for you. I have to go. I really don't want to get grounded again, you know how torturous that is." I stand up and hug him. James pulls back and looks me in the eyes then softly kisses me on the lips, he pulls away. "See you later Sophia."
I smile and turn away dazed, then start walking home. I barely notice the heat or the walk. I couldn't stop smiling the whole way.
James has been my best friend for a few months but he knew more about me than anyone ever has. We both suffer from depression and we both self harm. I would give my life for him and I think he would do the same for me. He has been the only thing keeping me alive lately.
I get home and walk inside. I see my parents and younger brother sitting on the couch each with a plate of food on their laps. My mom looks at me. "And two minutes to spare. You shouldn't cut it so close next time. Dinner's in the kitchen." She turns back to watch t.v.
I roll my eyes and walk behind the couch to the kitchen and grab my food, heading to my room.
My parents are awesome. They trust me enough to walk around everyday and not do anything stupid. Well, my mom does anyway. My step dad on the other hand is worried that I'll go have sex with every male friend I have. He's too overprotective. My brother, Ryan, is a pain in my ass sometimes but I gotta live with him anyway. He can be sweet sometimes.
We live in a small apartement complex. I love it here. Its the first time that we dont have to be supported and live with other family members that pity us. And I have a few friends around here, almost all in walking distance. I should be able to drive by now, considering that I'm 17, but we still don't have enough money to get my license.
I finish my food and go to the kitchen to rinse my plate off. "Could you do the dishes Sophia?"
"Sure mom." I say in a tone that sounds like I'm complaining. I quickely fill up the sink and do the dishes, thinking about James the while time. I finish up and head to bed. Turning off the lights, I get under the blankets.
"You're worthless. I can't believe he kissed a fat ass like you. He doesn't care about you." Those words echo in my thoughts as I cover my ears and start to cry. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to focus on good things until I finally fall into a dreamless sleep.
