One Hundred Sleepless Nights (Tony Perry Fanfic)

I Can't Wait

Saige's P.O.V

Why can't you just do it? Stop being a coward and just jump. Nobody likes you anyways, so, why not?

I probably should have been worried about the thoughts going through my head, but, they just didn't bother me anymore. If anything, they comforted me now. Was that odd? Probably. Did I care? Nope. So here I was, like I was everyday, sitting atop this old, run down, building contemplating jumping off. I didn't see a problem with it, but then again I was comforted by the suicidal thoughts that ran through my head.

Come on. The voices egged me on. Or are you a coward? Well I wasn't exactly brave, hell I can barely talk to cashiers when I buy drinks never mind kill myself. But then again this wasn't just an awkward social interaction, this was me, 17 year old Saige Elizabeth Winters, deciding whether to kill myself or not.

Stop making excuses and just do it already! I sighed lowering my head to look at the ground below. Would it hurt? I asked myself. What if I didn't die right away? What if I sat there for hours on end in agonizing pain? I sighed again, this was just too much. I couldn't do it.

"No Vic I'm fine, I just need some time to myself, O.K.?" An unfamiliar voice shouted "I'll be back later, don't wait up."

The man groaned, and as I looked back I saw him pace while rubbing his temples, I felt like I should leave. But I couldn't find any way to get out without confrontation and I did NOT want that. So I sat there, turning back around and waiting for him to leave.

"Fuck, sorry I didn't see you there." He exclaimed. I turned back a bit and looked at him.

"It's fine." I mumbled feeling the anxiety of talking to someone building up.

"I can leave or...." He trailed off. I shook my head laughing a bit.

"I d-don't own the p-place, i-it's fine." I stuttered out. He just nodded. He sat down to the right of me which made me really uncomfortable. You see, I had this scar. And not just some scar from playing too rough during my childhood. But from a very horrible woman that I'd rather not think about. And it wasn't just a small little thing, no, life didn't like me enough it was a "Chelsea Grin" or half of one seeing it was only on the right side of my face.

The scar wasn't the thing that bothered me, it was the looks people gave me when they saw it that made me uncomfortable. I was so deep in thought that I didn't hear what he had said to me, or if he had said something to me. It sounded like he had but I couldn't be sure. So, I took the chance and said:

"Sorry, what was that?" He chuckled a bit and responded.

"My name's Tony."

"Oh um m-my name's Saige." I mumbled back. A couple minutes later I heard the familiar sound of a lighter, but unfortunately it wasn't working. Trying to avoid speaking again I fished my Bic lighter out of my pocket and held it out to him.

"Thanks." he mumbled and I just nodded. He handed it back and I made the mistake of lifting my head enough to see him, which also revealed the scar that made most of my classmates call me "Chelsea". He gaped a bit staring and I was so mortified I couldn't bring myself to look away.

Once I regained control of my own body again I looked down staring at my lap and willing myself not to cry.

"D-did it hurt?" He asked. Unfortunately for me that wasn't the start of some cheesy pick up line.

"I-I'm sorry it's not my place to ask." He mumbled quickly.

"Kind of." I finally responded, even though I didn't have to. He just nodded not saying a word and making a very uncomfortable silence.

A.N. Sooo first chapter, tell me if you want more and how you would like this book to go? I would love to hear your thoughts. :) It's a bit short too, next chapter I'll try to write more.