Saw the reaper

Snapped

Clay's POV

I just froze,Starting at the spot of the road where Tony got off with Tyler.

i can't breathe.

i was so scared.I was scared about Tyler honestly.I didn't give a fuck back at that moment when Tyler pointed the gun at me.I was scared of death yeah but ...some part of me wanted to be dead just like when I tried to shoot myself in the head.My death grip on the gun was starting to make my knuckles white.i just...I can't lose anyone now .No more.
I just ...
My eyes water up .i close my eyes and bite my bottom lip trying to choke back ugly sobs.
'You did this.'
'It's your fault'
'Go die'
'You couldn't save her and you can't save anyone'
'Worthless'
I throw away the gun terrified of it.
I stared shaking and fell to the ground.
"Clay!"
I think this was Justin.
I grabbed my head pulling my hair and trying to block out everything.I swear I can hear my heart beat faster than a thunder.I felt like someone was hugging me.

I can't breathe .

It's hard to tell who cause my vision is so blurry.
"Shh it's ok Clay...it's me Justin and Jess.Its ok ."
I break down completely placing my head on Justin's chest sobbing uncontrollably.Jessica has gone inside probably to inform the others what happened.
After a while I calm down and I just stay in Justin's warm embrace.i feel numb.
"I'm s-sorry..."I whisper.
Justin looks down at me confused.
"Clay dude,why are you apologizing?"
I close my eyes.trying to block the voices in my head.
" C-Couldn't s-save him...I...I couldn't..save Hannah..I c-couldn't save A-Alex...I-i couldn't either s-save him...I just .."
A tear rolled down my cheek and Justin hugs my tighter.
"Clay.its not your fault.Look at me."
I hesitate at first but I look up to meet his eyes.
He wipes with his thumb some stray tears from my cheek.
"It's not your fault.It never was nor will ever be"
I hug him tighter with that little strength that was left in me.i start to close my eyes and go limp.
"You can fall asleep if you want Jensen.ill carry you home."Justin whispers in my ear.
"okay..."
I close my eyes and feel him pick me up bridal style and after that I fainted.

I thought it had ended.