crummy days call for a cup of tea with honey

Oh god

Hi fcuk this is a vent I guess. Sorry if my words and writing is all twitchy but whatever.

Today I'm going to come out as nonbinary to my parents, w the help of my therapist, but I'm still so scared. I'm so shakey and ill feeling. I do have two backpacks with supplies if they do kick me out but I feel so unprepared and gross. Like a sweaty wave of nausea and faint electricity is consuming me and oh god I'm drowning.

Uggh. If I disappear for I guess forever then that means I got kicked out. I did plan on writing some stories, I was setting up the plot for some and character designs, but that's okay.

I'm so scared fuck. The nearest homeless shelter for LGBTQA+ is like two days away. The sun is relentless here oh godd. Hah hahhh fuck.

I feel like I'm gonna disappoint them. Fuck.

I know my dad will be the manipulative fucker he is and make my mom's thoughts about me being nonbinary change for the worst, if he even shows up at all. I barely see him nowadays. He's usually with his rich friends.. I don't know. I don't even have a weapon to protect myself with if I get kicked out oh boy.

I'm a jittery, ill mess with a deathwish. I feel so damn restless this is so much fun hhha.

If any of you have any tips for coming out, I guess give them to me. Alright bye.