Starting Over

Chapter 24

It wasn’t hard to feel the connection to Roger. Everything Casey showed me made this a whole lot easier. It felt like I had done it a million times before. At a distance it was easier to rebel against what he wanted me to do, but it was painful.

This bond was different than the one between Grayson and Casey. Her memories made the bond feel clean, healthy, and most of all complete. When I reached through the bond I was connected to, it felt dirty, possessive, painful and one sided.

 I didn’t have any control over this bond. It made me subjected to anything that Roger wanted from me. Worst of all, the feelings that he fed through this bond, made me feel so great that I never wanted it to end. I felt like an addict. I knew it was wrong and I wanted to stop, I wanted to be free of any compulsion, but I couldn’t. I needed this. It felt like I would die if I didn’t have this connection, this bond, and I would do anything to keep it.

I told them all that happened while I was with Roger. Casey did her best to try to make me believe that what Roger had done to me is rare. She said he manipulated the mating bond in a way it was never meant to be used.

It was supposed to bring people together, make them closer…and to satisfy the male need to stake his claim on what he believed was his.

But Roger had forced the bond on me and made me his slave. He wanted me to feel like this was a real bond, and as a result it was more real than anything else. He wanted me to kidnap Willow and bring her back to him. A part of me wanted to do exactly what he told me to. The consequences of kidnapping Willow seemed to pale in comparison to disappointing him. Mostly the werewolf side of me, but the human side knew the whole plan. He’d kill me once he got a hold of Willow.

I couldn’t do that. She’s just a child. Being so far away from him made it easier to believe. I knew I was doing the right thing, even if my wolf didn’t believe it. I was mostly afraid that if he found out what I was doing, he’d punish me by making me feel horrible, that he’d stop sending me whatever it was that had made me feel so great.

The car was absolutely quiet as Grayson drove. I sat in the front seat so I wouldn’t be distracted by Mikko or Mason while Grayson drove. I focused on feeling for Roger. I told him when to turn as the bond started to feel stronger and stronger. The closer we got, the stronger the feeling got and the better I felt. I didn’t feel anxious anymore. I didn’t feel much of anything besides excitement that I was getting closer to Roger, closer to the one who was feeding my high.

“We’re close enough now. There’s only one cabin around here.” Grayson grumbled unhappily.

He pulled off the road and went a bit into the trees to hide the car. When we all got out, they did something to conceal the car a little, before they were content that it wouldn’t be spotted. The last thing they would need is anything leading back to the pack. A dead body with an abandoned car nearby would lead directly to us. An abandoned car nearby would lead some nosey cops directly to us, which would put them in danger. If they were caught witnessing werewolf business, they probably wouldn’t live long enough to share what they’ve heard.

“We’re going to have to fall back a bit. We don’t want Roger to know that we’re here with you.” Mikko kept his attention on Grayson as he spoke to me. I glanced over to see Grayson walking into the trees stripping off his shirt. “Grayson is going to change in case he tries to run. Roger Millender’s very fast.”