Tear Stained Face (Gene X Reader)

The Letter.

My mom brings the note in and opens it. There are 2 notes in one envelope. Strange.. Mom hands one to me and holds onto the other. It has my name on it and a drawing of a flower. I have no idea who would- "MOM! Dad used to call me his flower.. Look" I show her the drawing of the flower by my name. "It is you're father.." She shows me her letter and it was signed by Eric. (Dad) my letter reads:

Hey Flower,

Me and Evan miss you so much! He's has been asking when we can come see you. You've grown since I last talked to you. I've been keeping an eye on you. I apologize for the bullying you had to deal with while I was gone. I see you've made a guy friend, I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM GUYS! Why did you disobey me? I believe you owe your Daddy an apology. I wish I could hug you baby girl, I wish your mother wasn't around. I would come see you ever chance she was away. I guess she knew I would try to see you. I miss my Little Flower. You've grown in to a beautiful young lady. Wish I could get a closer look. Hmm, get rid of your mother. Make her leave. I want to see you Y/n so does Evan! Don't you wanna see Daddy and Evan?

We love you!
~Dad & Evan

When I finish reading the note I realized I was crying. I run up to my room and slam the door before I lock it. I slid my back down the door. Memories rush into my mind. Abuse. Rape. Everything he did to me. And yet I still miss him. After all the pain he caused me. I miss him. No, I miss the idea of a dad. I scream for the memories to stop. I remember him holding me against the wall choking me half to death. Yelling at me for not obeying him. Yelling at me for no real reason. He throws me on the floor after my mom yells at him. He goes over to her and slaps her. I have a lot of memories like this.. He never hit Evan. And I hope he hasn't these past two years. I get up from the floor and run to my bed. I slam my body on it and just scream and cry. The whole time Gene was outside the door begging for me to let him in. But I don't I just sit there. And sob into a pillow. I can tell Gene was crying a bit. He's worried.. And I just sit there. After I calm down (which too like an hour or 2) I sit up and grab the blade I left out when Gene came in earlier. I run to my attached bathroom. I'm sorry. I sink the blade into my arm and pull it across. I do this a few times. Shit, I'm bleeding a lot. I grab the toilet paper and hold it on my arm. After like 30 minutes I quit bleeding and I wash off the blood. Why did I just fucking do that?! Irene I'm a fucking idiot.. I walk out of the bathroom. Gene stopped banging on the door. I hear him softly saying "please, let me in." I throw a hoodie on and let him in.

Oooooooooooooof
Bye shadows!!
~Shade