The funny thing

BANG

Please rip my heart out
Take it
Throw
it away
Please rip my mind out
Take my senses
Take my thoughts
My feelings
My memory
Take me away
Heal me
Help me
I'm frozen
I'm unable to move
I'm trapped beneath the ice
Drowning
IM DROWNING
Make it all go away
One capsule
One cut
One bullet
BANG
BANG
BANG
I'm here
I'm alive
I'm rotten
I'm broken
My batteries have gone dry
I'm numb
I can't feel my toes
Can't feel my arms
I can't feel my brain
These words flow
They won't stop
I'm not thinking
I'm doing
I won't remember this In the morning
I gave up
I'm trying
I really am
I feel myself slowly slipping
Back Into the dark
Back into my hole
I'll just have to crawl back out
You can throw gifts down my hole
My mom gives pills
My dad music
My brother hot wheel cars
My friends mean words
My friends nice words
Skylar love
Austin love
I love them
Mom
Dad
Austin
Skylar
Thomas
I love them
Do they love me
Do they
DO THEY
Does anyone
Am I alone
Am I pathetic
Yes
Easy answer
Do I believe that.
Not quite
I believe I need to do something
Not be the fucking stupid lazy ass I am
I need to work
Be worth love
I'm not worth it
Not love.
Not yet
I give my heart out
Only to have it crushed
A few people though
Kept that piece of my heart
And loved it
Saw its value.
Thank you
Thank you
My family
Skylar
Austin
Lucas
Thomas
Thank you for my life
For my sanity
You slowly fill my exoskeleton
No longer empty
But half full
So thank you
I don't say it enough
Thank you
THANK YOU
and I'm sorry
I'm sorry for the mess I've cause
I've never really been good at a lot
I've never been good at friends
Never been good at boys
Never been good at love
I'm sorry
For hurting you
IM SORRY
FOR HURTING YOU
I love you
I miss you
Thank you for my life
And my pride

I'm done laughing