So i got way too excited over going to the mall. I told Derek i didn't wanna be mature. Im such an idiot! I should've just said id be mature. We didnt go to the mall, he said it was because his friend didn't go but i don't know it was most likely because of the mature thing. Im so clueless. I take a shower and put on a black Pantera shirt with some white jeans and a pair of vans. I pull my black hair through a pony tail. I see lilly sitting on her laptop on the couch as i head for the front door. "Hey grouch don't leave yet. I need to ask you something." lilly says to me. I walk over and plop down next to her. "Yes i will marry you my one and only love Lilly!" i joke aroumd and she pushes me off the couch. "Not that you emo cunt. I wanna know if you'll go to a party with me tomorrow night.". I widen my eyes in surprise. Its been forever since ive been to a party....and i am kinda depressed lately...whats the worst that could happen? Not everything is like my past. "I'll go. But im not gonna talk romantically to any dudes u get to talk to me." "Deal. Now go get me some cigarettes too you whore." She winks at me and i flip her off as i walk out the door. Yay party... I'll at least be able to get my mind off Derek...he told me the other night that he would never run away from me...i don't know why but i trust him but Lilly says she knows hes gonna hurt me...that scares me...what if he does run away from me and leave me?...i'll feel that emptiness again...no Charlotte don't think these thoughts..shake it off...
