Falling for The Cause Of My Pain l.r.h

Chapter 12

When I wake up and Luke isn't beside me. I whine, rolling to his side of the bed, getting into a sideways position. After twisting and turning, unable to get comfortable, I get up and go to the living room, falling onto the couch. I turned on the tv, turning on Spongebob. I hear a knock on the door and sigh. I walk to the door and look through the peephole. It was Luke. Why in the hell would Luke knock on his own door. I open it and give him a look.

"I got locked out." Luke says. I move away from the door as he enters, holding a bag.

"What's in the bag?" I ask.

"Freezer waffles." He answers simply, putting four waffles in the toaster.

"So waffles are for breakfast?" I ask, raising a brow.

"Yup." He replies, watching the toaster impatiently. I go back to the couch, l lie down and continue to watch my show. I was paranoid beyond belief. I had a psychopathic ex boyfriend trying to find me, and I'm staying at a guys apartment, who I may love and hate at the same time.

3rd Person P.O.V

Luke watched her as she watched Spongebob. He could tell she was stressed beyond belief. He got it though, she was tired. Tired because she couldn't have a normal, average day.

"Hey Ari, you should take a shower, it'll make you feel better." He tells the small girl on his couch.

"Okay, I'l be back." She says, Luke sticks her waffles in the oven, turning it on a bit so the waffles would stay warm.

All he could do was think, think about everything that has ever happened between them. It was a pattern. They'd be in love, she'd leave, she'd forget, repeat.

He thinks about his favorite memory with Amari; they were at Macca's at three in the morning. Luke had bought them Happy Meals and they just talked, like they were going to be okay the next day at school.

"Amari, why do you self harm?" He asks her, curious to why she did. She told him she self harmed but never why.

"Because, when you're in pain, you feel like the only way to dispose of it is with more pain, and then pain and numbness is your cure." She explained to him.

He then thought about more of the things Amari had told him, then stuff in her sleep. They all added up to one thing.

Suicide.

He didn't want her to die, he wanted her to live so that he could be with her, if she died, he would probably commit so he could be with her. The reason they stopped meeting at midnight was because they had fought, not because Luke had gone on tour. Before they even knew they had gotten into this huge argument.

"Luke, I don't see why you care! You only hurt me, why should I even admit I'm in love with you if you don't give a shit about me!" She yelled at him, tears streaming down her face.

"Baby, I do care, I always have cared." He said to her, his eyes flooding.

"Then why in the hell did you make out with that blonde bimbo in the janitors closet?" She asked him. He could see all the mascara running down her face, he just wanted to hug her, tell her everything was alright but the closer he got to her, the further she was.

"Because people noticed I'm not hooking up with people that much! People are starting to wonder where I am, I haven't gone to party's, clubs, hell, I haven't even been in detention for the longest time and people are starting to wonder what has changed this. I want to protect you!" He yelled back at her. She walked up to him, their faces close.

"Luke, tomorrow at school, I want you to tell me to leave the school, that no one cares. I'm leaving you behind, everything. Only you can break me free from the pain I have felt, you can set the sadness on fire, ridding me of it. I can't love you, because if I do, I suffer, if I don't well , I'll crumble away into nothing." She kissed his forehead, leaving him there.

That's where the song Amnesia came from. He wrote it after he did what she told him to do, all he could see when he closed his eyes was her face, mascara running, smeared across her pale cheeks, the way they would fit together when they slept, every wish and promise they had made, she left that all behind. And Luke wishes he could call her his again but the thing is, he can't, because she left him once, she'll leave him again.