Changed Chapter One

 As I knocked on the door for 5 minutes for my husband to answer the door, I decided to drop the bags on the floor and reach into my purse and grab my house keys. Once I got inside I noticed the house was completely silent, which is not normal. Marquis normally has something on the TV (sports), radio (Alternative), or at least the computer (youtube), but the house was completely silent. I continued to put the groceries away that I picked up from Whole Foods and proceeded upstairs to the room.  ”babe?” no answer, ”babe?” hmmmm he must be still at work.

Marquis is a successful professor at Unlv, teaching Anthropology. Teaching is also my profession,  I teach at the local community college in education. I obtained my doctors 8 years out of high school. After being a principal for 4 years i decided to teach how to become a successful teacher. I mainly start new students out in the education field. I show them the way, I like to give it my all and everything, to make sure this is the career choice they really want. Teachers do not make a lot if money, so many students do not follow through with the career choice and graduate with a degree in education.

Continuing to my room I started to hear something. ”o my goodness I hear something” I thought quietly to my self. ” it sounds like he is crying.” All of these terrible thought ran through my head. "We have such an open relationship is he cheating? if so why is he crying? I have never heard him cry in Spanish before, if that what language he is speaking." As I continued to listen I heard him say, ”I don't want to live like this anymore, take it out of me, deliver me.”  "What the heck is he talking about?" I chuckled. I opened the door and he says ”In Jesus name, in Jesus name” and slowly got off the floor turned and looked at me with his red eyes and wet face.

”Honey, I feel so free, so excited and illuminated!!” he said. I feel as if I could fly, but strong and powerful at the same time. I cannot believe the junk I have been feeding into my students these last five years.

”What's going on?” I asked him with all curiosity. 

”What are you doing, why are you crying, and since when did you start speaking Spanish?"

”Shelb, that wasn't Spanish he giggled, I was speaking to God, it is all clear to me now, I know what has been wrong with me these last 3 years, he has been trying to get my attention the entire time.”

“GOD???!!!!!!!!!!!” I said in confusion, "When did you start believing in God?"

"Marquis what is going on, when did you start believing or even thinking about God?” I don’t understand anything you are talking about, what do you mean you know what was wrong with you the last three years?"

"Shelb, I haven’t told you this but for the last three years I have not been happy."

“WHAT!!!!!”

"Babe, not with you, I love you, but with my life. I have been tired, angry, sleepless, and not myself."

“Shelby I think it is time I tell you a little about my background before you met the little boy you met in Las Vegas.” He said as he pulled me to our futon in the corner of our room.

“I haven't been myself for a long time, and the time that I am referring to is the time I stop going to church, the time I stopped believing. A voice was always in the back of my mind telling me I am going the wrong way and that I was doing it all wrong, but I kept ignoring the voice day after day year after year."

“So you have a church background?” I said with an oblivious look on my face. You never said one thing to me about church when we met and all we did was talk and talk about everything, you never once told me you had church background.  In fact you told me you didn’t believe, that’s why I never took the time to discuss or talk about religion, because I didn’t believe either, so I felt like it was nothing to talk about. I felt like we were on the same path as far as “belief” goes. You cannot just all of the sudden change things around here, what you expect me to just believe too?”

"No, of course not" I cannot tell you what to do or how to do it you have to do it on your own. I pray and hope that you one day do believe. I will continue to pray and practice faith." 

As Marquis was saying this to me he was petting my head and kissed me on my forehead, the same thing he does to let me know that everything is going to be ok. This time I didn’t think so, I couldn't focus because for one, my husband and I are very outgoing. On Friday nights we like to do something different every night, different or more extreme than the last Friday. Now that he has this "God" thing going on, I don’t know what is going to happen now. Will he be the same person? Will he touch me the same? Will he laugh at the something’s? Shelby what are you going to do?

"Shelb? Shelb? Shelb?" he said with a troubled stare.

"Yea" I responded coming out of my daydream.

"Did you hear me? I said we will take this thing one day at a time."

We? I am happy how things were, you are the one coming in here changing things, you have some "taking one day at a time" to do so I will leave you to it."

"Shelb? Shelb? Shelby, don’t leave like this babe, calm down."  He said as he grab me by my waist and whispered,  “trust me on this one, I know what he is trying to do in our lives he has showed me just trust me Be you trust me?

I love when he abbreviates my name like that, as I exhale I whispered, "ok ok but don’t expect me to change overnight."

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