~
I pulled up to Fallon’s parents’ estate; cars lined the street and the circular driveway in front of the house. My stomach had been in knots the entire drive. Thank God Fallon was nice enough to use his parent’s huge house while they were away; I couldn’t stand to have all of these rowdy people at our apartment. Just need to get past the front doors and get some alcohol in me and I’ll be fine.
I turned off the ignition and sat silent in the dark for a few minutes looking out my window at the variety of drunken baboons dispersed all over the property. I would give anything to just drive back home. I practically dragged myself out of the car but found I merely just leaned my back against the shut door, I still couldn’t face it. I took a deep breath, letting the cool air slip into my lungs, and trying to give myself enough steam to go through with the evening and try to enjoy it. Looking up at the sky, now cloudless, the stars were so bright; they looked just like diamonds scattered amongst black velvet. For some reason I always felt comforted by the stars, how far away they were, how solitary they were, and how quiet they were. They were just like me, far away, quiet, and alone; watching the universe passing them by, and waiting until they finally burnt out.
I walked up the drive way, hands in my pockets, to keep them warm, and also because I wouldn’t know what else to do with them. Keeping my eyes from making any contact, keeping me a safe distance from any unwanted conversations. I passed a crowd and picked up a potent whiff of weed. When I made it to the front doors, just as I reached for them, another crowd came through. I moved to the side as they pushed passed me. The door was left open, so with one last deep breath I went in.
There were bodies everywhere, music was playing throughout the house, the smell of alcohol and weed reeked from every crevasse. During my anxiety ridden adventure squeezing between people, I spotted Fallon walking towards the kitchen. I should just yell for him, but no, I didn’t want anyone to look at me. I took out my cell phone.
*HEY, I’M HERE. TURN AROUND.*
Luckily he had his phone with him, read the text, and searched the crowd. I raised my right hand up and went to meet him.
“Hey Benny!” He walked through the crowd like Moses through the Red Sea.
“Hey man.” He gave me a high five.
“I’m glad you didn’t bail.” He added and gave me a hug. I tightened with embarrassment and realised my good friend was already pretty drunk.
“How many keg stands have you done tonight?”
“Might be more than three.” Fallon laughed. His face was flushed and he put his arm around me, guiding me towards the kitchen. Finally I was in the safety of my friend and didn’t have to defend myself on my own anymore. I felt my anxiety cease a little. “You know who is not a skank?” Fallon was apparently filling me in on a conversation he had already started in his head.
“Who is that?” I replied amused.
